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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

5 practices
What you are actually defending remove filterUnder stress remove filterClear all
How long you have
A minute 4Five minutes 1
Who it is written for
Me 5A practitioner 4Someone I care about 3My husband or wife 1
Where you are right now
Coping, mostly 4Struggling right now 1
On your own, or with someone
On my own 4Involves someone else 1
Theme · What you are actually defending
The moment before you snap 32Cool the body first 31Grounding and settling 30Choosing your response 28Your nervous system 24Touch and bodywork 22What anger actually is 20Staying regulated in conflict 20The fear underneath anger 18Feelings and focus 16Equanimity and perspective 15Tolerate distress 11Breathing 10The cost of avoiding 10Feeling from the inside 9Systems for daily life 9Answering bids 9Moving your body 8Shame 8Screens and attention 8Medication and how it works 8Practising under provocation 8Getting assessed and diagnosed 7What worry does 7Making it stick 6Breaking the worry loop 6When anger turns to harm 6Shame and stigma 6When everything feels flat 6Bringing the future closer 6Affection and touch 6Emotions as signals 5Knowing your partner 5Facing it a step at a time 5Question the thought 5Food, caffeine and fuel 5Treatment and medication 5What you are actually defending 5Letting it out safely 4Get started 4Growing empathy 4Posture and how you carry yourself 4Obsessions and compulsions 4Name what you feel 3Listening and understanding 3Being seen and judged 3Righteous anger and perfectionism 3Safety and grounding 3Working with anger 3Let the wave come 3Exercise, food and other supports 3Calm the body 3Rebuild trust 2When you use something to cope 2Reading, numbers and learning differences 2Meaning after harm 2Patience and trust 2Ride the urge 2Self-compassion 2Your sense of time 2Structure and routine 2Treatment and medication 2Your window of tolerance 1What ADHD actually is 1Validate yourself and others 1Shared spiritual life 1Rest and pacing 1Repair after rupture 1Remembering to do it 1Act on your values 1Panic and the body 1Listen to the body 1Care for yourself in loss 1Anger, alcohol and the body 1
Approach
Mindfulness 3Core 2
When · Under stress
Any ordinary day 14Under stress 5After a row 2Something good 1In a change 1Coming and going 1

Disrespect is a paper tiger. It comes at you looking like something, and it has never once actually done you any damage.

Worth noticing what your body does anyway. The heart goes, the jaw sets, and you get ready as though something physical were about to happen. The…

A minuteWhat you are actually defendingCoreQur’an 25:63

When your thinking comes back online mid-argument, say so and offer a restart. I could feel myself getting defensive and this is not helping either of us, shall we try that again?

Most people escalate sometimes. The skill worth having is not never starting but knowing how to get out once you have. Naming it yourself gives the…

A minuteWhat you are actually defendingCoreQur’an 12:92

Anger and doubt cannot really occupy the same moment. Anger sharpens everything to a point, and a genuine maybe blunts it.

This is why an honest question does more than an argument. Not a challenge, which hardens things, but a real one: what if I have got part of this…

A minuteWhat you are actually defendingMindfulnessQur’an 2:206

Not understanding what is happening frightens a person before it angers them. If you flare up when a situation is unclear, you are meeting something very old in yourself rather than a fault you invented.

Watch the order of it next time. First the blank, the not knowing what this means or where it is going, then a tightening in the chest or jaw, then…

A minuteWhat you are actually defendingMindfulnessQur’an 17:36

The aim is not to work out the answer. It is to keep moving while the answer is missing, and to find that the fear does not have to run the day.

When something is unsettled, your mind hands you one job after another: replay it, check it, decide what they really meant. You can put those down…

Five minutesWhat you are actually defendingMindfulnessQur’an 3:154

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.