Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

5 practices

Tolerate distress Five minutes Coping, mostly Clear all

How long you have · Five minutes

A minute 4 Five minutes 5 Twenty minutes 1

Who it is written for

Me 5 A practitioner 3 Someone I care about 2

Where you are right now · Coping, mostly

Coping, mostly 5 Struggling right now 3 Getting ready for something 3

On your own, or with someone

On my own 4 Involves someone else 1

Theme · Tolerate distress

Medication and how it works 63 Getting assessed and diagnosed 41 Your nervous system 37 What anger actually is 36 Systems for daily life 31 Equanimity and perspective 29 Exercise, food and other supports 27 Your sense of time 25 Touch and bodywork 23 Get started 23 What ADHD actually is 22 Bringing the future closer 21 Treatment and medication 20 When everything feels flat 19 The moment before you snap 19 The fear underneath anger 18 Feelings and focus 17 Choosing your response 17 Practising under provocation 17 What worry does 17 Moving your body 17 Screens and attention 16 Grounding and settling 14 What you are actually defending 14 Food, caffeine and fuel 13 Structure and routine 12 Emotions as signals 12 Righteous anger and perfectionism 11 Breathing 10 Feeling from the inside 9 The cost of avoiding 9 Being seen and judged 9 Staying regulated in conflict 9 Growing empathy 9 Rebuilding trust 9 Knowing your partner 8 Treatment and medication 8 Breaking the worry loop 7 Making it stick 7 Shame and stigma 6 Remembering to do it 6 Cool the body first 6 Self-compassion 5 Tolerate distress 5 When anger turns to harm 5 When you use something to cope 5 Listening and understanding 5 Shared spiritual life 4 Reading, numbers and learning differences 4 Facing it a step at a time 4 Posture and how you carry yourself 3 Obsessions and compulsions 3 Use your strengths 3 Rituals of connection 3 Panic and the body 2 Work with your brain 2 Meaning after harm 2 Repair after rupture 2 Find meaning 2 Act on your values 2 Anger, alcohol and the body 2 Rest and pacing 1 Question the thought 1 Ask and say no well 1 Help someone grieving 1 Get it out of your head 1 When you go numb 1 Notice the pattern and flex 1 Affection and touch 1 Face it gently 1 Your window of tolerance 1 Shame 1 Living with uncertainty 1 Your worth is not conditional 1 Calm the body 1 Working with anger 1 Let the wave come 1

Approach

DBT skills 3 Mindfulness 1 Body based 1

When

Under stress 2 Any ordinary day 2 After a row 1

Stop fighting what already is. Accepting a hard reality, without approving of it, ends the extra layer of pain.

Saying it is so is not the same as saying it is fine. Dropping the war with what already happened frees you to respond.

Five minutesTolerate distressDBT skillsQur’an 64:11

Soothe yourself through the senses: a warm drink, a soft cloth, a good scent, a slow walk. Be kind to the body.

When you cannot fix the feeling, comfort the one who is feeling it. Small kindnesses to the body settle the mind.

Five minutesTolerate distressMindfulnessQur’an 93:6

A calming skill handed over at the wrong moment reads as your anger is not welcome here. For someone taught as a child that their anger was unacceptable, that is the old prohibition arriving again in kinder clothes.

Let the anger be seen first. Say that it makes sense, that there is a reason for it, and only then offer anything that settles the body. The order…

Five minutesTolerate distressDBT skillsQur’an 2:45

Accepting reality as it is means dropping the fight with what has already happened. It does not mean staying somewhere that is still harming you.

The two get confused often, usually by people who were told to be patient by whoever benefited from their patience. A rough test: acceptance is for…

Five minutesTolerate distressDBT skillsQur’an 39:10

Watch for the small thing that happens right as a feeling starts: the reach for a tissue, the laugh, the change of subject. Notice it once and say nothing, notice it again, and only then mention it.

One instance is an incident and three is a pattern, and the difference matters when you name it, because a pattern can be looked at together without…

Five minutesTolerate distressBody basedQur’an 12:83

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.