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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

5 practices
What you are actually defending remove filterA minute remove filterCoping, mostly remove filterClear all
How long you have · A minute
A minute 5Five minutes 14Longer 1
Who it is written for
Someone I care about 5Me 5A practitioner 4My husband or wife 1
Where you are right now · Coping, mostly
Coping, mostly 5Struggling right now 1
On your own, or with someone
On my own 4Involves someone else 1
Theme · What you are actually defending
Staying regulated in conflict 46Choosing your response 25Answering bids 22Medication and how it works 18The fear underneath anger 18The moment before you snap 17Bringing the future closer 17Fondness and admiration 15Your nervous system 15Equanimity and perspective 14Knowing your partner 14Affection and touch 14Get started 13Systems for daily life 13Repair after rupture 13What anger actually is 13Growing empathy 12Your sense of time 12Cool the body first 12Treatment and medication 11Structure and routine 10Grounding and settling 9Gratitude 9Listening and understanding 8When everything feels flat 8Feelings and focus 8Moving your body 7Getting assessed and diagnosed 7Touch and bodywork 6Making it stick 6Exercise, food and other supports 6Remembering to do it 6Rituals of connection 6Shared spiritual life 6Screens and attention 5What you are actually defending 5Rebuilding trust 5Being seen and judged 5Emotions as signals 5Practising under provocation 4Tolerate distress 4Breathing 4Food, caffeine and fuel 4Shame and stigma 4Treatment and medication 4Name what you feel 3Question the thought 3What ADHD actually is 3When you use something to cope 3Safety and grounding 3Self-compassion 3What worry does 3The cost of avoiding 3Reading, numbers and learning differences 2When anger turns to harm 2Calm the body 2Facing it a step at a time 2Hold a boundary 2Let the wave come 2Meaning after harm 2Notice the pattern and flex 2Obsessions and compulsions 2Patience and trust 2Ride the urge 2Shame 2Validate yourself and others 2Working with anger 2Your worth is not conditional 2Breaking the worry loop 1Your window of tolerance 1Righteous anger and perfectionism 1Panic and the body 1Listen to the body 1Act on your values 1Keep the bond 1Help someone grieving 1Get it out of your head 1Feeling from the inside 1Face it gently 1Care for yourself in loss 1Ask and say no well 1Anger, alcohol and the body 1
Approach
Core 3Mindfulness 2
When
Under stress 3Any ordinary day 2

Respect comes from the Latin for looking, with the prefix meaning again. It is literally the second look, the head that turns as somebody important walks past.

Knowing that does something useful. A word that felt close to sacred turns into a plain social behaviour you can examine: who gets looked at twice,…

A minuteWhat you are actually defendingCoreQur’an 31:18

Disrespect is a paper tiger. It comes at you looking like something, and it has never once actually done you any damage.

Worth noticing what your body does anyway. The heart goes, the jaw sets, and you get ready as though something physical were about to happen. The…

A minuteWhat you are actually defendingCoreQur’an 25:63

When your thinking comes back online mid-argument, say so and offer a restart. I could feel myself getting defensive and this is not helping either of us, shall we try that again?

Most people escalate sometimes. The skill worth having is not never starting but knowing how to get out once you have. Naming it yourself gives the…

A minuteWhat you are actually defendingCoreQur’an 12:92

Anger and doubt cannot really occupy the same moment. Anger sharpens everything to a point, and a genuine maybe blunts it.

This is why an honest question does more than an argument. Not a challenge, which hardens things, but a real one: what if I have got part of this…

A minuteWhat you are actually defendingMindfulnessQur’an 2:206

Your mind is always slightly behind what is happening. Reality moves and you are the response, which leaves you permanently a step late and permanently not quite sure.

Put that way, uncertainty is not a flaw in your thinking, it is the position you are standing in. You are flying into the next moment without having…

A minuteWhat you are actually defendingMindfulnessQur’an 16:23

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.