Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

9 practices
How long you have · A minute
Who it is written for
Where you are right now
On your own, or with someone
Theme · Breathing
Staying regulated in conflict 46The moment before you snap 39Choosing your response 36Cool the body first 34Grounding and settling 28What anger actually is 26Medication and how it works 25Your nervous system 25Systems for daily life 24Answering bids 22The fear underneath anger 22Bringing the future closer 22Get started 20Treatment and medication 18Equanimity and perspective 17Your sense of time 17Structure and routine 16Fondness and admiration 15Knowing your partner 14Affection and touch 14Growing empathy 14Making it stick 14Practising under provocation 14Touch and bodywork 13Repair after rupture 13Feelings and focus 12Getting assessed and diagnosed 11Food, caffeine and fuel 11Gratitude 9When everything feels flat 9Moving your body 9The cost of avoiding 9Exercise, food and other supports 9Breathing 9What ADHD actually is 8Treatment and medication 8Being seen and judged 8Tolerate distress 8Listening and understanding 8Remembering to do it 7Screens and attention 7Rituals of connection 6What you are actually defending 6What worry does 6Shame and stigma 6Shared spiritual life 6Posture and how you carry yourself 5Shame 5Emotions as signals 5Feeling from the inside 5Rebuilding trust 5Self-compassion 4Question the thought 4Obsessions and compulsions 3Facing it a step at a time 3Name what you feel 3Safety and grounding 3When you use something to cope 3Panic and the body 2When anger turns to harm 2Calm the body 2Hold a boundary 2Reading, numbers and learning differences 2Let the wave come 2Meaning after harm 2Notice the pattern and flex 2Patience and trust 2Ride the urge 2Righteous anger and perfectionism 2Validate yourself and others 2Working with anger 2Breaking the worry loop 2Your worth is not conditional 2Your window of tolerance 1Rest and pacing 1Act on your values 1When you go numb 1Listen to the body 1Keep the bond 1Help someone grieving 1Get it out of your head 1Face it gently 1Letting it out safely 1Care for yourself in loss 1Ask and say no well 1Anger, alcohol and the body 1
When

Breath work goes straight into the body, and for some people that is the problem. If your panic has ever been about not getting enough air, putting your attention on your breathing can set it off rather than settle it.

Asthma, a history of choking or smothering, panic that arrives through the chest: any of these makes the breath a loaded place to put your attention.…

A minuteBreathingBody basedQur’an 6:125

The famous count is not automatically your count. One teacher finds that adding a pause after the inhale wakes her up, while the plain long exhale has her asleep within three breaths.

Protocols get passed around because they worked for someone, often someone with a large audience. That is not the same as fitting you. Keep the shape…

A minuteBreathingBody basedQur’an 3:191

When you are flat rather than wound up, try this. Rub your palms together until they feel awake, let them rest, then breathe in as your arms lift and out as they lower, two or three times.

Sluggish, heavy, far away: those states rarely respond to more calming. A bit of friction in the hands, some movement through the arms and a fuller…

A minuteBreathingBody basedQur’an 20:25

For when you are stuck in shutdown there is a faster practice: short sharp exhales driven from the belly, letting each in breath happen by itself, about twenty of them.

It is meant to rouse, so expect to feel more awake and a little buzzy afterwards rather than calm. Twenty is plenty. Sit down before you start so…

A minuteBreathingBody basedQur’an 21:87

The fast forceful practices are not for everyone. With high blood pressure, heart trouble or glaucoma, leave them out and use the slow ones, which carry no such warning.

Rapid breathing with effort behind it raises pressure inside the chest, the head and the eyes for as long as you keep it going. The gentler lift,…

A minuteBreathingBody basedQur’an 32:9

Any breathing instruction that reaches you through a screen or a book comes from someone who cannot see you. Keep the final say over what your body does.

Recorded instructions have to be general. You are the one who knows that your chest tightens on holds, or that counting makes you anxious. Treat each…

A minuteBreathingBody basedQur’an 26:13

Breath is the quickest way you have of turning your own nervous system up or down. Nothing else you can simply decide to do works on that timescale.

Your heart rate already rises slightly as you breathe in and falls as you breathe out, on every breath. So changing how you breathe changes something…

A minuteBreathingBody basedQur’an 48:4

The rapid belly driven breath with pauses added is the strongest thing in this set. Not for high blood pressure, glaucoma, pregnancy or your period, and stop at once with pain or dizziness.

It has its uses for the flat, heavy state that comes over people after lunch or during a long low patch, because it pushes upwards rather than down.…

A minuteBreathingBody basedQur’an 38:72

End a practice with a question rather than a conclusion. What do you notice works better than telling someone what should have happened.

If you announce that an exercise is calming, most people will agree with you whether or not it was. Asking leaves room for the honest answer,…

A minuteBreathingBody basedQur’an 50:16

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.