Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

5 practices

Emotions as signals A minute Clear all

How long you have · A minute

A minute 5 Five minutes 19 Twenty minutes 6

Who it is written for

My husband or wife 5 A practitioner 5 Me 3 Someone I care about 2

On your own, or with someone

On my own 2 Involves someone else 2 Both of us together 1

Theme · Emotions as signals

Staying regulated in conflict 46 The moment before you snap 39 Choosing your response 36 Cool the body first 34 Grounding and settling 28 What anger actually is 26 Your nervous system 25 Medication and how it works 25 Systems for daily life 24 Bringing the future closer 22 The fear underneath anger 22 Answering bids 22 Get started 20 Treatment and medication 18 Your sense of time 17 Equanimity and perspective 17 Structure and routine 16 Fondness and admiration 15 Growing empathy 14 Affection and touch 14 Practising under provocation 14 Making it stick 14 Knowing your partner 14 Repair after rupture 13 Touch and bodywork 13 Feelings and focus 12 Getting assessed and diagnosed 11 Food, caffeine and fuel 11 The cost of avoiding 9 Breathing 9 Gratitude 9 When everything feels flat 9 Moving your body 9 Exercise, food and other supports 9 What ADHD actually is 8 Being seen and judged 8 Tolerate distress 8 Listening and understanding 8 Treatment and medication 8 Remembering to do it 7 Screens and attention 7 Rituals of connection 6 Shame and stigma 6 Shared spiritual life 6 What worry does 6 What you are actually defending 6 Feeling from the inside 5 Rebuilding trust 5 Shame 5 Emotions as signals 5 Posture and how you carry yourself 5 Self-compassion 4 Question the thought 4 Facing it a step at a time 3 Safety and grounding 3 Obsessions and compulsions 3 When you use something to cope 3 Name what you feel 3 Reading, numbers and learning differences 2 Righteous anger and perfectionism 2 Patience and trust 2 Calm the body 2 Panic and the body 2 Notice the pattern and flex 2 Meaning after harm 2 Validate yourself and others 2 Let the wave come 2 When anger turns to harm 2 Working with anger 2 Breaking the worry loop 2 Your worth is not conditional 2 Hold a boundary 2 Ride the urge 2 Help someone grieving 1 Get it out of your head 1 Your window of tolerance 1 Anger, alcohol and the body 1 Face it gently 1 Letting it out safely 1 Listen to the body 1 When you go numb 1 Care for yourself in loss 1 Ask and say no well 1 Act on your values 1 Keep the bond 1 Rest and pacing 1

When

Any ordinary day 3 Under stress 2

Every feeling comes with something it wants you to do. Catching the move before you make it is most of the skill.

Anger wants to push, fear wants to get out of the room, sadness wants to curl up, shame wants to disappear. None of that is wrong, and the trouble is…

A minuteEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 21:87

You do not need a long list of feeling words. Half a dozen you can actually reach for under pressure will do more than forty you have to look up.

Angry, sad, afraid, ashamed, surprised, glad is enough to start with, and most hard moments are some mixture of the first four. The aim is not to…

A minuteEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 91:8

If someone is saying so much that you have lost the thread, stop them kindly and check. Sorry, that is a lot and it matters, can I say back what I have got so far.

It feels rude and it is usually received as the opposite, because it says the words were worth keeping. Listening while quietly drowning helps…

A minuteEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 8:24

Point at the body. 'Your hands went up just then', or 'you put your head in your hands', gives a feeling something solid to stand on.

Feelings argued about in the abstract go round and round. A gesture you both just watched is much harder to dispute, and it opens a door: what was…

A minuteEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 39:23

When someone goes quiet and you can see they have gone inside, that is not your moment to help. Stay still and let the silence run.

You will feel the pull to summarise, to check they are alright, to bring the other person back in. All of it lands as an interruption. Give it a few…

A minuteEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 50:16

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.