Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

7 practices
How long you have · A minute
Who it is written for
Where you are right now
On your own, or with someone
Theme · Screens and attention
Staying regulated in conflict 46The moment before you snap 39Choosing your response 36Cool the body first 34Grounding and settling 28What anger actually is 26Your nervous system 25Medication and how it works 25Systems for daily life 24Bringing the future closer 22The fear underneath anger 22Answering bids 22Get started 20Treatment and medication 18Your sense of time 17Equanimity and perspective 17Structure and routine 16Fondness and admiration 15Knowing your partner 14Practising under provocation 14Affection and touch 14Making it stick 14Growing empathy 14Repair after rupture 13Touch and bodywork 13Feelings and focus 12Food, caffeine and fuel 11Getting assessed and diagnosed 11Moving your body 9The cost of avoiding 9When everything feels flat 9Exercise, food and other supports 9Gratitude 9Breathing 9Listening and understanding 8Being seen and judged 8What ADHD actually is 8Treatment and medication 8Tolerate distress 8Screens and attention 7Remembering to do it 7What you are actually defending 6Shame and stigma 6Shared spiritual life 6Rituals of connection 6What worry does 6Shame 5Rebuilding trust 5Feeling from the inside 5Emotions as signals 5Posture and how you carry yourself 5Question the thought 4Self-compassion 4Name what you feel 3When you use something to cope 3Obsessions and compulsions 3Safety and grounding 3Facing it a step at a time 3Panic and the body 2When anger turns to harm 2Calm the body 2Hold a boundary 2Reading, numbers and learning differences 2Let the wave come 2Meaning after harm 2Notice the pattern and flex 2Patience and trust 2Ride the urge 2Righteous anger and perfectionism 2Validate yourself and others 2Working with anger 2Breaking the worry loop 2Your worth is not conditional 2Your window of tolerance 1Rest and pacing 1Act on your values 1When you go numb 1Listen to the body 1Keep the bond 1Help someone grieving 1Get it out of your head 1Face it gently 1Letting it out safely 1Care for yourself in loss 1Ask and say no well 1Anger, alcohol and the body 1
Approach

The studies tying childhood screen hours to later attention problems are correlational. They cannot tell you which way the arrow points, and there is a very ordinary reading where it points the other way.

The child who cannot settle is the child most likely to be put in front of a screen so that dinner gets cooked. A parent who is scattered themselves…

A minuteScreens and attentionMedical and treatmentQur’an 3:14

A ping about a parcel and a ping about your mother's health feel identical in the second before you look. Give that feeling a name, false urgency, and you get a little room.

The buzz carries no information about importance. It borrows the feeling of importance and lends it to whatever happened to arrive. Naming it in the…

A minuteScreens and attentionADHD skillsQur’an 62:11

You are comparing how it feels inside your own head with what other people chose to show. Those two were never the same kind of thing.

Keep the sentence short enough to actually use, because you need it while your thumb is still moving, not an hour afterwards. Somebody's holiday…

A minuteScreens and attentionCoreQur’an 20:131

One gentle way to name it: those are being used as words to play with, and they were never really words for playing with. Said kindly, it lands without anyone being told off.

The young person in front of you almost certainly says it too, so any version that sounds like a reprimand will close the conversation down. Naming…

A minuteScreens and attentionCoreQur’an 25:72

When you wave off what your child is into, they rarely hear a comment about gaming. They hear something about themselves.

At that age a good part of who someone is gets built out of what they love, so a shrug at the thing usually lands as a shrug at the person. You do…

A minuteScreens and attentionCBTQur’an 3:14

Gaming for an hour before you start the work almost never costs an hour. Do the thing that has to be done first, then the thing you want.

Once something enjoyable is running, whatever you were meant to do afterwards looks duller than it already did, and the hour quietly becomes three.…

A minuteScreens and attentionADHD skillsQur’an 62:9

Charge the phone in another room overnight and use a proper alarm clock. Small change, and it takes the decision away from you completely.

In bed the phone is right there, and stopping is left to you at the hour you have the least left. Out of the room, there is nothing to resist. Buy…

A minuteScreens and attentionADHD skillsQur’an 13:28

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.