Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

6 practices

What you are actually defending A minute Clear all

How long you have · A minute

A minute 6 Five minutes 16 Twenty minutes 1 Longer 1

Who it is written for

Me 6 A practitioner 5 Someone I care about 5 My husband or wife 1

Where you are right now

Coping, mostly 5 Struggling right now 1

On your own, or with someone

On my own 5 Involves someone else 1

Theme · What you are actually defending

Staying regulated in conflict 46 The moment before you snap 39 Choosing your response 36 Cool the body first 34 Grounding and settling 28 What anger actually is 26 Your nervous system 25 Medication and how it works 25 Systems for daily life 24 Bringing the future closer 22 The fear underneath anger 22 Answering bids 22 Get started 20 Treatment and medication 18 Your sense of time 17 Equanimity and perspective 17 Structure and routine 16 Fondness and admiration 15 Knowing your partner 14 Practising under provocation 14 Affection and touch 14 Making it stick 14 Growing empathy 14 Repair after rupture 13 Touch and bodywork 13 Feelings and focus 12 Food, caffeine and fuel 11 Getting assessed and diagnosed 11 Moving your body 9 The cost of avoiding 9 When everything feels flat 9 Exercise, food and other supports 9 Gratitude 9 Breathing 9 Listening and understanding 8 Being seen and judged 8 What ADHD actually is 8 Treatment and medication 8 Tolerate distress 8 Screens and attention 7 Remembering to do it 7 What you are actually defending 6 Shame and stigma 6 Shared spiritual life 6 Rituals of connection 6 What worry does 6 Shame 5 Rebuilding trust 5 Feeling from the inside 5 Emotions as signals 5 Posture and how you carry yourself 5 Question the thought 4 Self-compassion 4 Name what you feel 3 When you use something to cope 3 Obsessions and compulsions 3 Safety and grounding 3 Facing it a step at a time 3 Panic and the body 2 When anger turns to harm 2 Calm the body 2 Hold a boundary 2 Reading, numbers and learning differences 2 Let the wave come 2 Meaning after harm 2 Notice the pattern and flex 2 Patience and trust 2 Ride the urge 2 Righteous anger and perfectionism 2 Validate yourself and others 2 Working with anger 2 Breaking the worry loop 2 Your worth is not conditional 2 Your window of tolerance 1 Rest and pacing 1 Act on your values 1 When you go numb 1 Listen to the body 1 Keep the bond 1 Help someone grieving 1 Get it out of your head 1 Face it gently 1 Letting it out safely 1 Care for yourself in loss 1 Ask and say no well 1 Anger, alcohol and the body 1

Approach

Core 3 Mindfulness 3

When

Under stress 4 Any ordinary day 2

Respect comes from the Latin for looking, with the prefix meaning again. It is literally the second look, the head that turns as somebody important walks past.

Knowing that does something useful. A word that felt close to sacred turns into a plain social behaviour you can examine: who gets looked at twice,…

A minuteWhat you are actually defendingCoreQur’an 31:18

Disrespect is a paper tiger. It comes at you looking like something, and it has never once actually done you any damage.

Worth noticing what your body does anyway. The heart goes, the jaw sets, and you get ready as though something physical were about to happen. The…

A minuteWhat you are actually defendingCoreQur’an 25:63

When your thinking comes back online mid-argument, say so and offer a restart. I could feel myself getting defensive and this is not helping either of us, shall we try that again?

Most people escalate sometimes. The skill worth having is not never starting but knowing how to get out once you have. Naming it yourself gives the…

A minuteWhat you are actually defendingCoreQur’an 12:92

Anger and doubt cannot really occupy the same moment. Anger sharpens everything to a point, and a genuine maybe blunts it.

This is why an honest question does more than an argument. Not a challenge, which hardens things, but a real one: what if I have got part of this…

A minuteWhat you are actually defendingMindfulnessQur’an 2:206

Your mind is always slightly behind what is happening. Reality moves and you are the response, which leaves you permanently a step late and permanently not quite sure.

Put that way, uncertainty is not a flaw in your thinking, it is the position you are standing in. You are flying into the next moment without having…

A minuteWhat you are actually defendingMindfulnessQur’an 16:23

Not understanding what is happening frightens a person before it angers them. If you flare up when a situation is unclear, you are meeting something very old in yourself rather than a fault you invented.

Watch the order of it next time. First the blank, the not knowing what this means or where it is going, then a tightening in the chest or jaw, then…

A minuteWhat you are actually defendingMindfulnessQur’an 17:36

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.