Skip to content

Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

4 practices

Repair after rupture Twenty minutes Coping, mostly Clear all

How long you have · Twenty minutes

A minute 13 Five minutes 2 Twenty minutes 4

Who it is written for

My husband or wife 4 Me 4

On your own, or with someone

Involves someone else 3 On my own 1

Theme · Repair after rupture

Systems for daily life 21 Medication and how it works 19 Moving your body 17 The cost of avoiding 11 Get started 11 Getting assessed and diagnosed 11 Screens and attention 10 Touch and bodywork 8 Your nervous system 8 Feelings and focus 7 Shared spiritual life 7 Treatment and medication 7 What anger actually is 6 The moment before you snap 5 What ADHD actually is 5 Exercise, food and other supports 5 Bringing the future closer 5 Breaking the worry loop 5 Food, caffeine and fuel 5 Staying regulated in conflict 5 Rituals of connection 4 Righteous anger and perfectionism 4 Repair after rupture 4 When everything feels flat 4 Growing empathy 4 The fear underneath anger 4 When anger turns to harm 4 Grounding and settling 4 Your sense of time 3 Breathing 3 Emotions as signals 3 Making it stick 3 Knowing your partner 3 Reading, numbers and learning differences 3 Rebuilding trust 3 Structure and routine 3 Feeling from the inside 2 Shame and stigma 2 Equanimity and perspective 2 When you use something to cope 2 Cool the body first 2 Use your strengths 2 What worry does 2 Answering bids 2 Anger, alcohol and the body 2 Keep the bond 1 Facing it a step at a time 1 Choosing your response 1 Care for yourself in loss 1 Listen to the body 1 Treatment and medication 1 Safety and grounding 1 Rest and pacing 1 Remembering to do it 1 Practising under provocation 1 Posture and how you carry yourself 1 Obsessions and compulsions 1 Tolerate distress 1

Approach

Emotionally focused 3 Gottman 1

When

Any ordinary day 2 After a row 2

Name one old hurt with your spouse that still aches, gently and without re-litigating.

When you were not there that day, it marked me. Naming it is not attacking, it is asking to heal.

Twenty minutesRepair after ruptureEmotionally focusedQur’an 42:40

When your spouse names a wound you caused, listen without defending, even once.

Not I didn't mean to. First: I hear that I hurt you, and I am sorry. Defence can wait.

Twenty minutesRepair after ruptureEmotionally focusedQur’an 4:135

Where the harm has truly stopped, begin to set down a grievance you have carried.

Not forgetting, releasing. Once the wound is no longer being made, let it start to close.

Twenty minutesRepair after ruptureEmotionally focusedQur’an 24:22

Revisit a past fight only once you are both calm, from the balcony, without climbing back into it.

Processing means talking about the incident, not re-fighting it. Wait until the heat is gone.

Twenty minutesRepair after ruptureGottmanQur’an 4:128

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.