Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

4 practices

Repair after rupture Twenty minutes Clear all

How long you have · Twenty minutes

A minute 13 Five minutes 2 Twenty minutes 4

Who it is written for

My husband or wife 4 Me 4

On your own, or with someone

Involves someone else 3 On my own 1

Theme · Repair after rupture

Systems for daily life 38 Medication and how it works 30 Moving your body 26 Treatment and medication 19 Screens and attention 18 Get started 17 What ADHD actually is 17 Getting assessed and diagnosed 17 Feelings and focus 16 The cost of avoiding 15 Reading, numbers and learning differences 14 Your nervous system 14 Food, caffeine and fuel 11 Your sense of time 10 Exercise, food and other supports 10 What anger actually is 10 Bringing the future closer 9 Touch and bodywork 8 The moment before you snap 8 Shared spiritual life 7 Emotions as signals 6 Cool the body first 6 The fear underneath anger 6 Breaking the worry loop 6 Tolerate distress 6 Shame 6 Grounding and settling 6 When everything feels flat 5 Facing it a step at a time 5 When you use something to cope 5 Shame and stigma 5 Staying regulated in conflict 5 Breathing 5 Remembering to do it 5 When anger turns to harm 4 Being seen and judged 4 Choosing your response 4 Growing empathy 4 Repair after rupture 4 Righteous anger and perfectionism 4 Rituals of connection 4 What worry does 4 Practising under provocation 3 Equanimity and perspective 3 Use your strengths 3 Making it stick 3 Knowing your partner 3 Anger, alcohol and the body 3 Structure and routine 3 Rebuilding trust 3 Obsessions and compulsions 2 Posture and how you carry yourself 2 Feeling from the inside 2 Letting it out safely 2 Answering bids 2 Rest and pacing 1 Safety and grounding 1 Keep the bond 1 Care for yourself in loss 1 Treatment and medication 1 Question the thought 1 Living with uncertainty 1 What you are actually defending 1 Listen to the body 1

Approach

Emotionally focused 3 Gottman 1

When

Any ordinary day 2 After a row 2

Name one old hurt with your spouse that still aches, gently and without re-litigating.

When you were not there that day, it marked me. Naming it is not attacking, it is asking to heal.

Twenty minutesRepair after ruptureEmotionally focusedQur’an 42:40

When your spouse names a wound you caused, listen without defending, even once.

Not I didn't mean to. First: I hear that I hurt you, and I am sorry. Defence can wait.

Twenty minutesRepair after ruptureEmotionally focusedQur’an 4:135

Where the harm has truly stopped, begin to set down a grievance you have carried.

Not forgetting, releasing. Once the wound is no longer being made, let it start to close.

Twenty minutesRepair after ruptureEmotionally focusedQur’an 24:22

Revisit a past fight only once you are both calm, from the balcony, without climbing back into it.

Processing means talking about the incident, not re-fighting it. Wait until the heat is gone.

Twenty minutesRepair after ruptureGottmanQur’an 4:128

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.