Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

11 practices
How long you have
Who it is written for
Where you are right now · Coping, mostly
On your own, or with someone
Theme · When you use something to cope
Medication and how it works 104Systems for daily life 70Getting assessed and diagnosed 63Your nervous system 61Staying regulated in conflict 60What anger actually is 60Get started 48Moving your body 48Equanimity and perspective 46Choosing your response 44Bringing the future closer 43The moment before you snap 43The fear underneath anger 42Exercise, food and other supports 41Your sense of time 40Treatment and medication 39Feelings and focus 38Touch and bodywork 38When everything feels flat 32Screens and attention 32What ADHD actually is 30Growing empathy 28Grounding and settling 27Structure and routine 26The cost of avoiding 26Knowing your partner 25Food, caffeine and fuel 24Answering bids 24What worry does 23Practising under provocation 22Emotions as signals 20Cool the body first 20What you are actually defending 20Treatment and medication 20Repair after rupture 19Breathing 19Making it stick 19Being seen and judged 18Shared spiritual life 17Rebuilding trust 17Righteous anger and perfectionism 16Fondness and admiration 15Affection and touch 15Shame and stigma 14Breaking the worry loop 14Listening and understanding 13Rituals of connection 13Remembering to do it 13Feeling from the inside 12When you use something to cope 11When anger turns to harm 11Reading, numbers and learning differences 10Tolerate distress 10Facing it a step at a time 9Gratitude 9Self-compassion 8Use your strengths 8Obsessions and compulsions 6Anger, alcohol and the body 6Question the thought 5Meaning after harm 4Posture and how you carry yourself 4Safety and grounding 4Let the wave come 3Calm the body 3Act on your values 3Name what you feel 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Panic and the body 3Shame 3Working with anger 3Your worth is not conditional 3Ask and say no well 2Your window of tolerance 2Validate yourself and others 2Care for yourself in loss 2Work with your brain 2Ride the urge 2Rest and pacing 2Patience and trust 2Listen to the body 2Keep the bond 2Hold a boundary 2Help someone grieving 2Get it out of your head 2Find meaning 2Face it gently 2Living with uncertainty 1When you go numb 1
When

Not feeling sleepy is not the same as not being affected. Younger drinkers often stay awake through a great deal more than their body is actually handling.

The tiredness that ends an older person's night arrives much later, so the evening runs on and the amount climbs with it. Which is why a limit has to…

A minuteWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 7:31

A tablet is not safer because of where it started out. Taken by someone it was never prescribed for, it is simply an unprescribed drug.

Borrowed stimulants get treated as harmless because a doctor's name is on the box somewhere. The dose was worked out for another person's body and…

A minuteWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 2:168

When someone tells you how much they use, take it as a floor rather than a total. Then keep that adjustment to yourself.

Under-reporting is rarely a lie. There is legal risk, there is shame, and there is genuinely losing count. So plan around a larger figure than the…

A minuteWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 12:53

Most people can tell you exactly why the thing is a bad idea. The trouble arrives later, when feeling is running high and all that reasoning is nowhere to be found.

So treat it as a doing problem rather than a knowing problem. Decisions made calmly and in advance travel into hard moments much better than…

Five minutesWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 12:33

Distant health warnings move almost nobody. The cost that lands is the one showing up this month: your memory, your marks, the work you know you could be doing.

So keep it specific and keep it near. Heavy drinking in the teens and early twenties shows up in memory and in school work, which is the exact ground…

Five minutesWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 17:26

What you tried at that age is a poor guide to what is in front of your child now. Cannabis today is far stronger than the same word used to mean.

The sentence that closes most of these conversations is I turned out fine. Try a different one: ask what it does for them, when they reach for it,…

Five minutesWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 25:43

The fog after cannabis is not gone by morning. In younger users learning can stay dulled for several days, so Saturday night is still in the room on Wednesday.

That changes what to look at. Rather than arguing about the night itself, keep a rough note of the days that follow: what got read, what stayed in,…

Five minutesWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 59:19

Nicotine looks like the small problem next to everything else going on, and it is the one most likely to still be here in thirty years.

Most adults who smoke started as teenagers, and the earlier the start the harder the eventual stopping tends to be. So it earns a place on the list…

Five minutesWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 24:21

When someone keeps doing the risky thing after every explanation, the missing piece is usually not information. The pull is simply louder than the knowledge.

Which means another lecture is mostly wasted breath, while changing what is within reach is not. Fewer bottles in the house, a route home that avoids…

Twenty minutesWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 45:23

If a young person is using regularly, waiting to see whether they grow out of it is a gamble. Help early is nearly always cheaper than help later.

Families often hold off because raising it feels like an accusation. You can raise it without one: say what you have noticed, say you are not going…

Twenty minutesWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 2:195

The useful part is not the chart on the wall. It is that the person could think of things to do instead, and that took months of quiet work to arrive at.

Someone else's list of alternatives will not hold, because they thought of theirs and you did not. Build yours slowly, adding what has genuinely…

LongerWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 29:69

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.