Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

6 practices

Obsessions and compulsions Coping, mostly Clear all

How long you have

A minute 2 Five minutes 3 Twenty minutes 1

Who it is written for

A practitioner 6 Someone I care about 5 Me 2

Where you are right now · Coping, mostly

Struggling right now 12 Coping, mostly 6

On your own, or with someone

On my own 2 Both of us together 2 Involves someone else 2

Theme · Obsessions and compulsions

Medication and how it works 104Systems for daily life 70 Getting assessed and diagnosed 63 Your nervous system 61 What anger actually is 60 Staying regulated in conflict 60 Get started 48 Moving your body 48 Equanimity and perspective 46 Choosing your response 44 Bringing the future closer 43 The moment before you snap 43 The fear underneath anger 42 Exercise, food and other supports 41 Your sense of time 40 Treatment and medication 39 Touch and bodywork 38 Feelings and focus 38 Screens and attention 32 When everything feels flat 32 What ADHD actually is 30 Growing empathy 28 Grounding and settling 27 Structure and routine 26 The cost of avoiding 26 Knowing your partner 25 Food, caffeine and fuel 24 Answering bids 24 What worry does 23 Practising under provocation 22 Treatment and medication 20 Emotions as signals 20 What you are actually defending 20 Cool the body first 20 Making it stick 19 Repair after rupture 19 Breathing 19 Being seen and judged 18 Rebuilding trust 17 Shared spiritual life 17 Righteous anger and perfectionism 16 Affection and touch 15 Fondness and admiration 15 Shame and stigma 14 Breaking the worry loop 14 Listening and understanding 13 Remembering to do it 13 Rituals of connection 13 Feeling from the inside 12 When you use something to cope 11 When anger turns to harm 11 Reading, numbers and learning differences 10 Tolerate distress 10 Gratitude 9 Facing it a step at a time 9 Self-compassion 8 Use your strengths 8 Obsessions and compulsions 6 Anger, alcohol and the body 6 Question the thought 5 Meaning after harm 4 Posture and how you carry yourself 4 Safety and grounding 4 Let the wave come 3 Calm the body 3 Act on your values 3 Name what you feel 3 Notice the pattern and flex 3 Panic and the body 3 Shame 3 Working with anger 3 Your worth is not conditional 3 Work with your brain 2 Your window of tolerance 2 Validate yourself and others 2 Care for yourself in loss 2 Ask and say no well 2 Ride the urge 2 Rest and pacing 2 Patience and trust 2 Listen to the body 2 Keep the bond 2 Hold a boundary 2 Help someone grieving 2 Get it out of your head 2 Find meaning 2 Face it gently 2 Living with uncertainty 1 When you go numb 1

When

Any ordinary day 5 Under stress 1

When the words for feelings are not there, ask for a number instead. How much did the handwashing take over this week, one to ten, is a question someone can answer on a bad day.

A number asks far less of a person than a description, which matters when putting feelings into language is hard for them, and you still end up with…

A minuteObsessions and compulsionsCBTQur’an 2:286

Agree a short phrase to use at home. Saying I am having OCD worries tells a parent what is going on without handing them the worry to solve.

Once a parent hears the details they will nearly always try to help by answering, and answering is the thing that feeds it. A label gives them…

A minuteObsessions and compulsionsCBTQur’an 23:97

You can take someone's fear entirely seriously without walking through the frightening story with them. Say you can see how frightening it feels, and leave the plot alone.

It reads colder written down than it lands in the room. What the person needs is to feel believed. What they do not need is a second person weighing…

Five minutesObsessions and compulsionsCBTQur’an 50:16

It can help to give the parts of your brain jobs. The front of your head is the manager, the memory system is the librarian, and the alarm is a security guard who is good at his work and far too keen on it.

The point is not accuracy, it is having language you can reach for quickly. Saying the guard is overreacting again gets you further than trying to…

Five minutesObsessions and compulsionsCBTQur’an 70:19

Offer choices rather than instructions. With a problem that runs on control, being told what to do gives that control somewhere to dig in.

Two or three real options, the trade-offs said plainly, and then the pick is genuinely theirs. That holds for the big decisions too, like moving to a…

Five minutesObsessions and compulsionsCBTQur’an 22:78

When obsessions start early and dig in deep, ask gently what anxiety looks like elsewhere in the family. Often there is an undiagnosed parent, and often that parent is helping in ways that keep the whole thing running.

None of this is about blame. A parent who checks the locks for their child, answers the same question fifteen times, or arranges the evening around a…

Twenty minutesObsessions and compulsionsCBTQur’an 114:6

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.