Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

3 practices
How long you have
Who it is written for
Where you are right now · Coping, mostly
On your own, or with someone
Theme · Shame
Medication and how it works 104Systems for daily life 70Getting assessed and diagnosed 63Your nervous system 61What anger actually is 60Staying regulated in conflict 60Get started 48Moving your body 48Equanimity and perspective 46Choosing your response 44Bringing the future closer 43The moment before you snap 43The fear underneath anger 42Exercise, food and other supports 41Your sense of time 40Treatment and medication 39Touch and bodywork 38Feelings and focus 38Screens and attention 32When everything feels flat 32What ADHD actually is 30Growing empathy 28Grounding and settling 27Structure and routine 26The cost of avoiding 26Knowing your partner 25Answering bids 24Food, caffeine and fuel 24What worry does 23Practising under provocation 22What you are actually defending 20Cool the body first 20Emotions as signals 20Treatment and medication 20Making it stick 19Breathing 19Repair after rupture 19Being seen and judged 18Shared spiritual life 17Rebuilding trust 17Righteous anger and perfectionism 16Affection and touch 15Fondness and admiration 15Breaking the worry loop 14Shame and stigma 14Rituals of connection 13Listening and understanding 13Remembering to do it 13Feeling from the inside 12When you use something to cope 11When anger turns to harm 11Reading, numbers and learning differences 10Tolerate distress 10Gratitude 9Facing it a step at a time 9Self-compassion 8Use your strengths 8Anger, alcohol and the body 6Obsessions and compulsions 6Question the thought 5Posture and how you carry yourself 4Meaning after harm 4Safety and grounding 4Act on your values 3Shame 3Panic and the body 3Let the wave come 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Name what you feel 3Calm the body 3Your worth is not conditional 3Working with anger 3Ask and say no well 2Your window of tolerance 2Work with your brain 2Ride the urge 2Rest and pacing 2Patience and trust 2Listen to the body 2Care for yourself in loss 2Validate yourself and others 2Keep the bond 2Hold a boundary 2Help someone grieving 2Get it out of your head 2Find meaning 2Face it gently 2When you go numb 1Living with uncertainty 1
Approach
When

When someone tells you they have failed, the most useful thing you can do is nothing clever. Let your face stay soft and keep looking at them.

Shame is braced for disgust, so it reads your face before it hears your words. A quick reassurance can even land as a rush to move on. Slower is…

A minuteShameEmotionally focusedQur’an 93:3

When someone's shame fills the room, check your own state before you say anything. If you start to shrink, or to worry that you are handling this badly, they will feel it.

Shame is catching. The particular risk is a quiet spiral of your own, along the lines of I am no good at this, which pulls you out of the room at the…

A minuteShameTrauma informedQur’an 53:32

You did not choose which things hurt you. Where you are tender was set long before you had any say in it, and the only live question is what you do with it now.

This is worth saying out loud between two people, because each usually thinks their own soft spot is embarrassing and the other's is obvious. Try…

Five minutesShameEmotionally focusedQur’an 30:54

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.