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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

10 practices
Tolerate distress remove filterCoping, mostly remove filterClear all
How long you have
A minute 4Five minutes 5Twenty minutes 1
Who it is written for
Me 9A practitioner 7Someone I care about 5
Where you are right now · Coping, mostly
Struggling right now 13Coping, mostly 10Getting ready for something 4
On your own, or with someone
On my own 8Involves someone else 2
Theme · Tolerate distress
Medication and how it works 104Systems for daily life 70Getting assessed and diagnosed 63Your nervous system 61What anger actually is 60Staying regulated in conflict 60Get started 48Moving your body 48Equanimity and perspective 46Choosing your response 44The moment before you snap 43Bringing the future closer 43The fear underneath anger 42Exercise, food and other supports 41Your sense of time 40Treatment and medication 39Touch and bodywork 38Feelings and focus 38When everything feels flat 32Screens and attention 32What ADHD actually is 30Growing empathy 28Grounding and settling 27The cost of avoiding 26Structure and routine 26Knowing your partner 25Answering bids 24Food, caffeine and fuel 24What worry does 23Practising under provocation 22Cool the body first 20Treatment and medication 20Emotions as signals 20What you are actually defending 20Breathing 19Repair after rupture 19Making it stick 19Being seen and judged 18Rebuilding trust 17Shared spiritual life 17Righteous anger and perfectionism 16Affection and touch 15Fondness and admiration 15Breaking the worry loop 14Shame and stigma 14Rituals of connection 13Listening and understanding 13Remembering to do it 13Feeling from the inside 12When you use something to cope 11When anger turns to harm 11Tolerate distress 10Reading, numbers and learning differences 10Gratitude 9Facing it a step at a time 9Use your strengths 8Self-compassion 8Anger, alcohol and the body 6Obsessions and compulsions 6Question the thought 5Posture and how you carry yourself 4Meaning after harm 4Safety and grounding 4Act on your values 3Shame 3Panic and the body 3Let the wave come 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Name what you feel 3Your worth is not conditional 3Working with anger 3Calm the body 3Ask and say no well 2Your window of tolerance 2Work with your brain 2Ride the urge 2Rest and pacing 2Patience and trust 2Listen to the body 2Care for yourself in loss 2Validate yourself and others 2Keep the bond 2Hold a boundary 2Help someone grieving 2Get it out of your head 2Find meaning 2Face it gently 2When you go numb 1Living with uncertainty 1
Approach
Body based 4DBT skills 4Mindfulness 2
When
Any ordinary day 5Under stress 4After a row 1

Tell yourself the true thing: this feeling is real, and it is temporary. No state lasts. Ride it out.

You do not have to fix it right now. You only have to outlast it. Feelings crest and fall like weather.

A minuteTolerate distressMindfulnessQur’an 93:5

Wise mind is not a calmer version of you. It is the state where what you feel and what you have thought through are both in the room, and neither has thrown the other out.

In practice it means you can feel the heat in your chest and still choose the next sentence. Neither half is the enemy: pure logic talks you out of…

A minuteTolerate distressDBT skillsQur’an 12:18

Before telling someone what you have noticed about them, ask whether they want it. Do you mind if I offer something back to you? Then describe only what you saw, plainly.

Close attention is not neutral for a person who grew up being watched for a reason. Asking first turns being observed into something they agreed to,…

A minuteTolerate distressBody basedQur’an 52:48

Say it plainly: my anger is allowed here. It is a healthy feeling and it is usually the thing telling me where a line should go.

For anyone who learned that their anger made them dangerous or unlovable, it now arrives with shame attached, and the shame is what turns it into…

A minuteTolerate distressBody basedQur’an 2:214

Stop fighting what already is. Accepting a hard reality, without approving of it, ends the extra layer of pain.

Saying it is so is not the same as saying it is fine. Dropping the war with what already happened frees you to respond.

Five minutesTolerate distressDBT skillsQur’an 64:11

Soothe yourself through the senses: a warm drink, a soft cloth, a good scent, a slow walk. Be kind to the body.

When you cannot fix the feeling, comfort the one who is feeling it. Small kindnesses to the body settle the mind.

Five minutesTolerate distressMindfulnessQur’an 93:6

A calming skill handed over at the wrong moment reads as your anger is not welcome here. For someone taught as a child that their anger was unacceptable, that is the old prohibition arriving again in kinder clothes.

Let the anger be seen first. Say that it makes sense, that there is a reason for it, and only then offer anything that settles the body. The order…

Five minutesTolerate distressDBT skillsQur’an 2:45

Accepting reality as it is means dropping the fight with what has already happened. It does not mean staying somewhere that is still harming you.

The two get confused often, usually by people who were told to be patient by whoever benefited from their patience. A rough test: acceptance is for…

Five minutesTolerate distressDBT skillsQur’an 39:10

Watch for the small thing that happens right as a feeling starts: the reach for a tissue, the laugh, the change of subject. Notice it once and say nothing, notice it again, and only then mention it.

One instance is an incident and three is a pattern, and the difference matters when you name it, because a pattern can be looked at together without…

Five minutesTolerate distressBody basedQur’an 12:83

Ask what you were taught about crying, about anger, about needing anything. Not what you believe now, but what you were told then, in the words that were actually used.

Most rules about feelings were installed rather than chosen, and once you can hear the original sentence, boys do not cry, do not be so sensitive, it…

Twenty minutesTolerate distressBody basedQur’an 3:186

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.