Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

20 practices
How long you have
Who it is written for
Where you are right now · Coping, mostly
On your own, or with someone
Theme · Treatment and medication
Medication and how it works 104Systems for daily life 70Getting assessed and diagnosed 63Your nervous system 61Staying regulated in conflict 60What anger actually is 60Moving your body 48Get started 48Equanimity and perspective 46Choosing your response 44The moment before you snap 43Bringing the future closer 43The fear underneath anger 42Exercise, food and other supports 41Your sense of time 40Treatment and medication 39Feelings and focus 38Touch and bodywork 38When everything feels flat 32Screens and attention 32What ADHD actually is 30Growing empathy 28Grounding and settling 27Structure and routine 26The cost of avoiding 26Knowing your partner 25Answering bids 24Food, caffeine and fuel 24What worry does 23Practising under provocation 22Treatment and medication 20What you are actually defending 20Cool the body first 20Emotions as signals 20Repair after rupture 19Making it stick 19Breathing 19Being seen and judged 18Shared spiritual life 17Rebuilding trust 17Righteous anger and perfectionism 16Fondness and admiration 15Affection and touch 15Shame and stigma 14Breaking the worry loop 14Listening and understanding 13Rituals of connection 13Remembering to do it 13Feeling from the inside 12When anger turns to harm 11When you use something to cope 11Tolerate distress 10Reading, numbers and learning differences 10Facing it a step at a time 9Gratitude 9Self-compassion 8Use your strengths 8Obsessions and compulsions 6Anger, alcohol and the body 6Question the thought 5Meaning after harm 4Posture and how you carry yourself 4Safety and grounding 4Panic and the body 3Calm the body 3Let the wave come 3Name what you feel 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Act on your values 3Shame 3Working with anger 3Your worth is not conditional 3Care for yourself in loss 2Validate yourself and others 2Ask and say no well 2Your window of tolerance 2Work with your brain 2Ride the urge 2Rest and pacing 2Patience and trust 2Listen to the body 2Keep the bond 2Hold a boundary 2Help someone grieving 2Get it out of your head 2Find meaning 2Face it gently 2Living with uncertainty 1When you go numb 1

The chapter a diagnosis sits in was decided by a committee, and the medicines did not rearrange themselves to match. When you are thinking about treatment, it helps to look past the name on the file to what the person is actually carrying.

Anxiety used to sit in one place in the manual and now sits in three, with trauma conditions and obsessive ones given rooms of their own. That…

A minuteTreatment and medicationMedical and treatmentQur’an 49:6

Nothing you take can act on something that is not there to be acted on. It is a plain limit, and it explains a good deal of the disappointment people carry about treatment.

A medicine travels everywhere in the body and only does something where there is something for it to work through. So the question is not whether a…

A minuteTreatment and medicationMedical and treatmentQur’an 41:44

Sleeping tablets, sedatives, antihistamines and alcohol all pull on the same brake. Whoever is prescribing needs the whole list, including the things that do not feel like medicine.

People rarely mention a nightly drink or a sleep aid bought off the shelf, because neither feels like part of the treatment. Together they can add up…

A minuteTreatment and medicationMedical and treatmentQur’an 2:286

If you do not know how much of something you are taking, you cannot tell whether it is helping you. That is the honest problem with most calming products bought off the shelf, quite apart from whether the ingredient works.

Testing of these products keeps turning up contents that do not match the label, sometimes including things the label never mentions. So a good week…

A minuteTreatment and medicationMedical and treatmentQur’an 17:36

With anything you use to take the edge off, note what you took and when, and how you felt a few hours later. Small changes in amount can turn the same substance from calming into the opposite.

Cannabis is the clearest example. Strength and make up vary enormously between products, a small amount often settles people, and a larger amount…

A minuteTreatment and medicationMedical and treatmentQur’an 16:69

If you have been given a drug from one category for a problem in another, it is fair to ask which part of it is doing the work. Often the useful effect is a side effect that has been borrowed.

The common example is an antipsychotic given in a small dose for sleep, where the drowsiness comes from its antihistamine action rather than from…

A minuteTreatment and medicationMedical and treatmentQur’an 21:7

A small dose that has not changed in years is not automatically something to fix. Stopping carries risks of its own, and they have to be weighed rather than assumed away.

Coming off can bring withdrawal, a rebound of the original anxiety, and worse if it is done abruptly. Set against the risks of staying on, which are…

A minuteTreatment and medicationMedical and treatmentQur’an 39:53

Plenty of people carry a tablet for years and almost never take it. What it is mostly doing is reassurance, and that is worth knowing about it.

Being able to reach for it is what makes the shop or the motorway bearable, which is a real help and a quiet cost at the same time. The cost is that…

A minuteTreatment and medicationMedical and treatmentQur’an 2:186

Saying that you do not know, and then showing where you would look, beats an answer improvised on the spot. It also teaches the person asking how to check things for themselves.

Name the limit, name the source you would go to, and offer to come back with what you find. Systematic reviews and an ordinary scholarly search will…

A minuteTreatment and medicationMedical and treatmentQur’an 16:43

One medicine can reach both the surging kind of anxiety and the circling kind, while another really only touches the surging kind. That is why the slower and broader option is usually the one people are started on.

It explains a pattern that looks arbitrary from the outside. The broad option is unglamorous: nothing happens on the first day and it takes weeks to…

A minuteTreatment and medicationMedical and treatmentQur’an 17:82

Making someone calmer is not the same as treating what is making them anxious. Obsessive worry is the clearest case: something sedating can take the edge off the distress and leave whatever drives it completely untouched.

You can see it in the shape of the day. The person is quieter, slower, maybe sleeping better, and the same thought arrives just as often as it did.…

A minuteTreatment and medicationMedical and treatmentQur’an 10:57

Ask what symptom you are aiming at rather than what the diagnosis is called. Nothing anyone takes recognises a category; it acts on whatever is happening in the body.

In practice that means naming the target out loud before anything is started or changed: the surges that come from nowhere, the sleeplessness, the…

Five minutesTreatment and medicationMedical and treatmentQur’an 39:9

Anxiety comes in two rough families. Fear is the sudden bodily kind that arrives in a rush, and worry is the slow kind that circles and will not settle.

The distinction earns its place because the two behave differently. Fear peaks and passes and shows up in the heart and the breath, while worry sits…

Five minutesTreatment and medicationMedical and treatmentQur’an 20:114

Physical dependence on a sedative can build while you are taking it exactly as prescribed. Nothing has gone wrong with you and nobody has misused anything.

Regulators strengthened the warnings across this whole class of medicines to say so plainly, including that withdrawal can be drawn out. Knowing it…

Five minutesTreatment and medicationMedical and treatmentQur’an 24:61

The number worth watching is not the dose but the direction. A dose that keeps creeping upward says something that a steady one does not.

You are often the person who sees this, because you hear about it in passing across months while the prescriber sees someone twice a year. Note it…

Five minutesTreatment and medicationMedical and treatmentQur’an 42:38

Before choosing what to try, work out which kind of anxiety you are dealing with. What settles a sudden surge and what wears down months of low grade worry are rarely the same thing.

For the surging kind, the things that help act fast and work on the body. For the worrying kind, they are slower and work on how the days are built:…

Five minutesTreatment and medicationMedical and treatmentQur’an 38:41

The dose that lifts low mood is often not enough for anxiety, and for obsessive symptoms it is usually well short. Needing more of it is a feature of the problem rather than anything wrong with the person taking it.

This matters because a fair trial of something has to include a fair dose. A person can spend eight weeks on a starting amount, decide the medicine…

Five minutesTreatment and medicationMedical and treatmentQur’an 2:185

Some anxiety medicines have no fast setting at all. They work on the receiving side of the system and take two to four weeks to show anything, so taking one in a bad moment does nothing and proves nothing.

For the right person the trade is a good one: nothing to become dependent on, no withdrawal, no dangerous mixing with alcohol, and nothing to reach…

Five minutesTreatment and medicationMedical and treatmentQur’an 16:69

The gentler alternatives are for avoiding a habit forming medicine in the first place. They cannot carry someone who is already dependent, and offering one as a straight swap mid crisis sets everybody up to fail.

Once a body has adapted to one of these medicines, only a careful reduction of that same medicine will get a person off it, and a different drug will…

Five minutesTreatment and medicationMedical and treatmentQur’an 39:53

Take a few photographs of your bedroom, then look at them later and circle whatever has to change or go. Seeing the room in a picture shows you things you stopped noticing years ago while standing in it.

The list is usually short and dull: the light on a charger, the pile of unfinished things on the chair, the television, the clock you keep checking.…

Twenty minutesTreatment and medicationMedical and treatmentQur’an 13:11

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.