Areas › Anger
Anger
Almost nobody wants to be the person who says the thing they cannot take back. The window between the surge and the words is short and it can be widened. That is most of what this area is about, along with the fear or hurt that anger is usually protecting.
Narrowed down
5 practicesTheme · Growing empathy
How long you have · Five minutes
Approach · Medical and treatment
Feeling close to your own people does not automatically make you kinder to everybody else. Sometimes it does the opposite and sharpens the line between us and them.
This is worth watching in yourself, particularly if you are the sort who gets angry on behalf of a group. The same warmth that makes you loyal can…
The advice to touch, to eat together, to move your body, to say the true thing out loud stands up perfectly well without the hormone story attached.
Explanations that hang on a single chemical are memorable and usually too tidy, and the studies behind the popular version are often small. None of…
Time alone can be a good idea or a dangerous one, and the difference is what sits underneath it. If you are already low, already dodging people, or drinking on your own, a plan to see fewer people is the wrong plan.
Ask honestly which one this is. Stepping back from a crowded, quarrelsome week is one thing. Disappearing because you cannot face anybody is another,…
Telling somebody one thing you are quietly embarrassed about will bring you closer than a month of pleasant conversation.
It does not have to be dramatic. The worry you have never said out loud, the mistake you still think about at night, the thing you are no good at.…
The thing worth admitting is not that you were angry. It is what you were frightened of underneath it: being made a fool of, being left, being counted as useless.
Anger is the easy half to say and it rarely lands well. The fear underneath is harder to say and it is the part that gets you heard. One sentence…