Areas › Anger

Anger

Almost nobody wants to be the person who says the thing they cannot take back. The window between the surge and the words is short and it can be widened. That is most of what this area is about, along with the fear or hurt that anger is usually protecting.

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2 practices

Growing empathy Five minutes Under stress Clear all

Theme · Growing empathy

The moment before you snap 10 Cool the body first 8 When anger turns to harm 6 The fear underneath anger 5 Choosing your response 5 What anger actually is 4 Equanimity and perspective 4 Growing empathy 2 Practising under provocation 2 Making it stick 1 What you are actually defending 1 Righteous anger and perfectionism 1

How long you have · Five minutes

A minute 1 Five minutes 2 Longer 1

Approach

Medical and treatment 1 CBT 1

When · Under stress

Any ordinary day 10 Under stress 2 After a row 2

Time alone can be a good idea or a dangerous one, and the difference is what sits underneath it. If you are already low, already dodging people, or drinking on your own, a plan to see fewer people is the wrong plan.

Ask honestly which one this is. Stepping back from a crowded, quarrelsome week is one thing. Disappearing because you cannot face anybody is another,…

Five minutesGrowing empathyMedical and treatmentQur’an 93:10

Underneath both versions sits the same small dread: somebody being displeased with you. That is the thing to practise surviving, and it does get easier.

Start where it is cheap. Send back the wrong order. Say you would rather not, once, to a person who will be mildly annoyed and nothing worse. Sit…

Five minutesGrowing empathyCBTQur’an 7:156