Areas › Focus, starting, and ADHD
Focus, starting, and ADHD
Most advice about focus is written for a brain that starts easily. This area is not. It covers what ADHD actually is, how to make a start when starting is the hard part, how to bring a future consequence close enough to feel, and how to stop paying for it in shame.
Narrowed down
10 practicesTheme · Screens and attention
How long you have
Approach · Core
When · Any ordinary day
You are comparing how it feels inside your own head with what other people chose to show. Those two were never the same kind of thing.
Keep the sentence short enough to actually use, because you need it while your thumb is still moving, not an hour afterwards. Somebody's holiday…
One gentle way to name it: those are being used as words to play with, and they were never really words for playing with. Said kindly, it lands without anyone being told off.
The young person in front of you almost certainly says it too, so any version that sounds like a reprimand will close the conversation down. Naming…
After a long stretch online people are often not fully there. Something faintly hypnotic settles in, and things get said and done that the same person would not say or do in a room.
This is not only teenagers. Adults describe it too: an hour that vanished, a message that reads as though somebody else wrote it, a flatness…
More hours on social media goes with more anxiety and low mood. That is a reason to aim at fewer hours, a conversation you can actually have, rather than at none, which usually ends the conversation.
Pick a number genuinely below the current one and low enough to notice, then look at what has changed in a fortnight. Sleep and mood are the things…
Spend long enough online and people start arriving as types rather than as people: brilliant or worthless, with nothing in between. The flattening happens to how you see yourself as well.
Worth naming as something the environment is doing rather than a fact about your character, because what an environment produces can be changed by…
Not every app is doing the same thing to you. The ones that tend to hurt have comments underneath, a feed chosen for you, and a number attached to how you did.
One young woman described a picture site as the safe one, because there was nowhere for anyone to reply to her. That is a useful way to sort your own…
Some of what circulates makes being unwell look good. Drugs filmed like a party, low mood styled into something delicate and photogenic, until the illness starts to feel like a personality.
This is worth spotting because of what it does to recovery. If sadness has become part of how someone is known, getting better means losing something…
The quietest damage comes from a young person deciding that feeling like this is simply how it is, because everyone around them feels it too.
Once distress counts as ordinary it stops being reported. Nobody mentions it at home, nobody brings it to an appointment, and years can pass with…
Things posted in ten seconds have got young people excluded from school, and worse. It is worth asking about online conduct in the same routine way you would ask about anything else that could go badly.
Ask what has been posted, what has been sent, what someone would not want read out. Not as an inspection and not as a lecture about permanence, but…
One client took two years of steady work to get a single app off her phone. If you are three weeks in and it is still there, you are not doing this wrong.
Change here is slower than nearly everyone expects, including the people helping. Saying so early protects both sides: you do not read a slow month…