Inshirahone small thing, well groundedRight now

Areas › Focus, starting, and ADHD

Focus, starting, and ADHD

Most advice about focus is written for a brain that starts easily. This area is not. It covers what ADHD actually is, how to make a start when starting is the hard part, how to bring a future consequence close enough to feel, and how to stop paying for it in shame.

Narrowed down

26 practices
Five minutes remove filterAfter a row remove filterClear all
Theme
Feelings and focus 6Screens and attention 5Remembering to do it 3Shame and stigma 3Bringing the future closer 2What ADHD actually is 2Treatment and medication 2Getting assessed and diagnosed 1Use your strengths 1Your sense of time 1
How long you have · Five minutes
A minute 6Five minutes 26Twenty minutes 7Longer 2
Approach
ADHD skills 22CBT 2Core 1Medical and treatment 1
When · After a row
Any ordinary day 448Under stress 30After a row 26In a change 25Coming and going 25When apart 2

A man in a support group said his sisters can arrive two hours late to a family barbecue and nobody comments, while he is ten minutes late and everyone starts. That is unfair, and the noticing is also real.

Holding both at once is the only position that goes anywhere. Hold only the unfairness and you get to be right while nothing changes. Hold only the…

Five minutesShame and stigmaADHD skillsQur’an 2:225

The point of explaining ADHD to a parent is to produce a particular kind of parent: one who is kind about it, quick to forgive the day's failures, and willing to make a nuisance of themselves at school.

Those three are results, not manners. Harsh days breed pushing back, pushing back breeds harsher days, and that loop is the main road from ADHD to a…

Five minutesTreatment and medicationADHD skillsQur’an 2:286

Medication does not make somebody care more. It narrows the distance between meaning to do the thing and doing it, and that distance is exactly what the other person has been feeling as being let down.

It helps a couple enormously to have the right name for what has been happening. The intention was real every single time. What went missing was the…

Five minutesTreatment and medicationMedical and treatmentQur’an 48:17

A relationship with no friction in it can leave an ADHD partner restless rather than content. A bit of heat is not the same as a bad marriage. What matters is what happens afterwards.

Plenty of couples decide that any argument means something is broken, and then start managing each other into blandness, which nobody enjoys. The…

Five minutesUse your strengthsADHD skillsQur’an 2:148

A sharp sense of unfairness is common with ADHD, and it often ends in walking out rather than in raising the matter. The instinct is usually sound. It is the timing that costs you.

Try a rule of your own making: when something at work feels unjust, write down what happened the same day and do nothing else for twenty four hours.…

Five minutesWhat ADHD actually isADHD skillsQur’an 70:20

The teenager with ADHD is often the one who admits it while everyone else produces a story. That is not worse judgement about right and wrong, it is less thinking ahead about how it will land.

Parents can read a caution or a suspension as proof of a moral problem, when the honesty in the room points the other way. Instead of a lecture,…

Five minutesWhat ADHD actually isADHD skillsQur’an 17:11