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Your marriage

What keeps a marriage well is not the big gestures. It is knowing each other, turning towards each other in ordinary moments, staying regulated when it gets hot, and repairing quickly when it goes wrong. Most of the practices here take under five minutes.

Narrowed down

63 practices
Emotionally focused remove filterClear all
Theme
Staying regulated in conflict 20Answering bids 10Knowing your partner 10Affection and touch 8Repair after rupture 7Rituals of connection 2Shared spiritual life 2Rebuilding trust 2Fondness and admiration 1Listening and understanding 1
How long you have
A minute 50Five minutes 8Twenty minutes 5
Approach · Emotionally focused
Gottman 107Emotionally focused 63Core 59
When
Under stress 22Any ordinary day 21After a row 19Something good 1

Once this week, sit together unhurried and share one feeling and one reassurance.

Not logistics. How are we really, and what do you need from me. A regular heart to heart.

Twenty minutesRituals of connectionEmotionally focusedQur’an 30:21

Encourage one thing your spouse wants to try, and tell them you have got their back.

Go, I am here if it wobbles. A secure base is what lets someone venture out bravely.

A minuteShared spiritual lifeEmotionally focusedQur’an 5:2

When something hard lands, say it out loud: we will face this together.

Turn a my problem into an ours. Facing it as a team halves its weight.

A minuteShared spiritual lifeEmotionally focusedQur’an 9:71