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Your marriage

What keeps a marriage well is not the big gestures. It is knowing each other, turning towards each other in ordinary moments, staying regulated when it gets hot, and repairing quickly when it goes wrong. Most of the practices here take under five minutes.

Narrowed down

64 practices

Gottman A minute Clear all

Theme

Staying regulated in conflict 17 Fondness and admiration 9 Listening and understanding 7 Knowing your partner 5 Answering bids 5 Repair after rupture 5 Gratitude 4 Rebuilding trust 4 Rituals of connection 3 Shared spiritual life 3 Affection and touch 2

How long you have · A minute

A minute 64 Five minutes 22 Twenty minutes 21

Approach · Gottman

Gottman 64 Emotionally focused 50 Core 45

When

Any ordinary day 42 After a row 11 Under stress 7 Coming and going 4

Before you part in the morning, take two minutes to learn one thing happening in your partner's day.

A short chat and a warm goodbye at parting keeps you connected through the hours apart.

A minuteRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 4:86

In one decision this week, ask what is best for us, not only what is best for me.

The small choices reveal the we. Let one lean toward the partnership over the self.

A minuteShared spiritual lifeGottmanQur’an 9:71

Keep the smallest thing you said you would do for your spouse today.

The call, the errand, the small promise. Trust is built from tiny kept words.

A minuteShared spiritual lifeGottmanQur’an 23:8

Speak about the future today as we, not I, in one thing you mention to your spouse.

When we are older, the home we are making. Language that assumes a shared road ahead.

A minuteShared spiritual lifeGottmanQur’an 25:74