Areas › Your marriage › Rituals of connection
Before you part in the morning, take two minutes to learn one thing happening in your partner's day.
A short chat and a warm goodbye at parting keeps you connected through the hours apart.
Qur’an and Sunnah
When you are offered a greeting, respond with a better one (Quran 4:86). A warm parting and greeting is a small good returned with more.
وَإِذَا حُيِّيتُم بِتَحِيَّةࣲ فَحَيُّواْ بِأَحۡسَنَ مِنۡهَآ أَوۡ رُدُّوهَآۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلَىٰ كُلِّ شَيۡءٍ حَسِيبًا
But [even in battle] when you [believers] are offered a greeting, respond with a better one, or at least return it: God keeps account of everything
Qur’an 4:86read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
What the research says
Couples who mark partings and reunions with small rituals of connection stay more bonded; two minutes and a warm goodbye is a reliable deposit in the relationship.
Gottman, J.; Coan, J.; Carrere, S.; Swanson, C. (1998). Predicting Marital Happiness and Stability from Newlywed Interactions. Journal of Marriage and the Family doi
Newlywed interaction patterns; accepting influence; soft start-up.
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
Why it works
Small parting rituals of connection keep a couple emotionally in touch across the day.
Where this sits: Gottman method, Turn Toward; Small Things Often (partings and reunions).
This one is still a draft. It is waiting on a scholar and a clinician to read it before it is published.