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Your marriage

What keeps a marriage well is not the big gestures. It is knowing each other, turning towards each other in ordinary moments, staying regulated when it gets hot, and repairing quickly when it goes wrong. Most of the practices here take under five minutes.

Narrowed down

2 practices

Answering bids Gottman Twenty minutes Clear all

Theme · Answering bids

Shared spiritual life 6 Staying regulated in conflict 5 Rebuilding trust 3 Knowing your partner 2 Answering bids 2 Rituals of connection 2 Repair after rupture 1

How long you have · Twenty minutes

A minute 5 Twenty minutes 2

When

Any ordinary day 1 Under stress 1

Once today, ask about a stress from outside the two of you, then just listen. No fixing.

Twenty minutes on their side. Your only job is to understand and be on their team.

Twenty minutesAnswering bidsGottmanQur’an 30:21

Once a day, take turns unloading the day's outside stress while the other just listens and supports, not fixes.

Ten minutes each on stress from beyond the relationship. The listener gives empathy, not solutions.

Twenty minutesAnswering bidsGottmanQur’an 5:2