Carrying a lossStep 1 of 9

Before you read on

Read this first. Some losses need a person and not a course. If you are thinking about ending your life, or about joining the person who died, tell somebody today and treat it as urgent. If the death was violent, sudden, by your own witnessing, or by suicide, or if images of it arrive without warning and will not stop, that goes to a clinician now rather than to a lesson, because this course does not do that work and will not attempt it. The same applies if you are not eating or sleeping, if you cannot keep yourself safe, or if you are drinking or using something to get through the day. This course is written for adults. A bereaved child needs different help, from someone who works with children.

Lesson 4 of 6

The half nobody gives you permission for

Everything so far has been about making room for the grief. This lesson is about the other side, and it is the one people need permission for.

The crossing needs two banks. If the ordinary side of life is closed off, there is nowhere to cross to, and the grief has nothing to be interrupted by.

Nobody is asking you to feel better, and nothing here is a technique for feeling less. It is much duller than that. It is doing an ordinary thing for a while, and then stopping.