The things people say

Everything happens for a reason. Allah needed them more. At least you have other children. At least it was quick. At least you had all those years. You will see them in Jannah, so do not be sad. Be strong for your mother.

None of those is a text. They are things people say when they are frightened and want the conversation to end, and being on the receiving end of them is genuinely part of what makes grief harder.

You do not have to correct anybody. You do not owe an explanation to a person who says one of them at a funeral. The useful move is to notice that it landed badly and to have one person, somewhere, who does not talk like that.

One person who lets you say the plain thing is worth more than twenty who say the right thing.