If one thing stays with you

Let it be this.

Kindness to your parents and obedience to your parents are two obligations and not one, and the Qur'an puts them in two different clauses of the same sentence. The first is not conditional on how they behave. The second has edges, and where your own edges fall is a question for a scholar who knows you.

Being understood was never on offer, so the explaining was never going to work, and the fact that it did not work says nothing about how well you put it.

You are not aiming at an ending. You are aiming at a tie that stays and a room you leave earlier.