What this lesson does not say

It does not say you may be rude to your parent. Not saying uff is in the text, and it is not conditional on their behaviour.

It does not say the debt is imaginary. It is real, and lesson five deals with it properly.

It does not say you are free to decide for yourself what counts as obedience owed and obedience not owed. Where the line falls in your own case is a fiqh question about your circumstances, and we are not a mufti.

What it says is one narrower thing. Kindness and obedience are two different obligations in the text, they appear in different clauses, and the second is bounded in a way the first is not. What follows for you is a question to put to somebody who knows both you and the law.