The small things that hold a marriageStep 1 of 10

Before you read on

Before anything else. If any of these is true for you, this course is not the right one and you should not use what it teaches. You are afraid of your spouse. You change what you say to avoid a reaction. You have been hurt physically, even once. You are not allowed to see people, hold money, or go out alone. Your phone or your movements are checked. You have been threatened. Sex happens when you do not want it. Nothing is scored here and nobody is being told what is happening to them. But repair skills are not safe where one person is controlling the other, because technique in that situation becomes another tool for the person doing the harm. Go to the course called When home is not safe instead.

Lesson 4 of 6

The only skill in this course

There is one thing worth learning here and this is it.

A repair attempt is any move, by either person, at any point in a disagreement, that tries to stop it getting worse. That is the whole definition. It is not an apology, it is not a resolution, and it does not require the argument to be over.

It is taught here rather than a list of communication techniques for one reason. It is brief, it is behavioural, you can do it in four words, and one person can start doing it tonight without any agreement from the other.