What one actually looks like

They are much smaller and much stupider than people expect.

A hand on an arm. Saying, wait, can we start that again. A concession, even a tiny one: you are right that I said it like that. Humour, if it is with the other person and not at them. Saying, I am getting loud, give me a minute. Using a name. Making tea.

In some houses the repair attempt is a phrase everybody knows is silly, and the silliness is what makes it usable, because saying something dignified in the middle of an argument is beyond most people.

What they have in common is that they are all interruptions. They are not about the subject at all.