A check
Which of these is a repair attempt?
Saying that you are being calm about this, unlike themSaying, wait, can we start that againListing the three times they did the same thingLeaving the room for the night without saying anything
Yes
A repair attempt is an interruption, not a move in the argument. Asking to start again is short, it makes no claim about who is right, and it gives the other person something easy to accept. The first option is an accusation in a soft voice, which is why it never works. The third is defensiveness. The fourth may be a flooded person doing the only thing they can, and it becomes something better if it is said out loud with a time attached, such as give me twenty minutes and I will come back to it.