The argument is not about the thing

You are not really arguing about the bins, the money, or what your mother said in April. You have had that argument before and you will have it again, and both of you could recite the other's lines.

What you are arguing about is the pattern. Who gets heard. Who is always in the wrong by the end. Who leaves the room. Whether the other one thinks you are a bit stupid.

That is why winning does not help. You can win the argument about April and the marriage will be exactly where it was, or slightly worse, because now there is April and there is the fact that you won.