Most of it is never getting solved

A large share of what a couple argues about does not have a solution. Two people with different families, different sleep, different money habits and different ideas about how much noise a house should contain are going to keep meeting the same fault line for as long as they are married.

That sounds bleak and it is actually the relief. If most of it is not solvable, then the goal was never to solve it. The goal is to be able to have the same disagreement for thirty years without it costing you anything.

Couples who do well are not the ones with fewer arguments. They are the ones whose arguments do not take a piece out of them each time.