You did not fall in love with this

Nobody chooses this at the start. At the start there was somebody who paid an unusual amount of attention to you, and it was flattering, and some of it was real.

The pattern arrives afterwards and it arrives in pieces. Each piece is small enough to absorb, and each one comes with an explanation you can just about accept. By the time the shape is visible you are three years in, with a shared name on a lease and two children and a family who came to the wedding.

That is not a failure of judgement. Anybody handed the first year would have accepted it, because the first year is designed to be acceptable.