Affection and play in marriage المودة

أُحِلَّ لَكُمۡ لَيۡلَةَ ٱلصِّيَامِ ٱلرَّفَثُ إِلَىٰ نِسَآئِكُمۡۚ هُنَّ لِبَاسࣱ لَّكُمۡ وَأَنتُمۡ لِبَاسࣱ لَّهُنَّۗ عَلِمَ ٱللَّهُ أَنَّكُمۡ كُنتُمۡ تَخۡتَانُونَ أَنفُسَكُمۡ فَتَابَ عَلَيۡكُمۡ وَعَفَا عَنكُمۡۖ فَٱلۡـَٰٔنَ بَٰشِرُوهُنَّ وَٱبۡتَغُواْ مَا كَتَبَ ٱللَّهُ لَكُمۡۚ وَكُلُواْ وَٱشۡرَبُواْ حَتَّىٰ يَتَبَيَّنَ لَكُمُ ٱلۡخَيۡطُ ٱلۡأَبۡيَضُ مِنَ ٱلۡخَيۡطِ ٱلۡأَسۡوَدِ مِنَ ٱلۡفَجۡرِۖ ثُمَّ أَتِمُّواْ ٱلصِّيَامَ إِلَى ٱلَّيۡلِۚ وَلَا تُبَٰشِرُوهُنَّ وَأَنتُمۡ عَٰكِفُونَ فِي ٱلۡمَسَٰجِدِۗ تِلۡكَ حُدُودُ ٱللَّهِ فَلَا تَقۡرَبُوهَاۗ كَذَٰلِكَ يُبَيِّنُ ٱللَّهُ ءَايَٰتِهِۦ لِلنَّاسِ لَعَلَّهُمۡ يَتَّقُونَ

You [believers] are permitted to lie with your wives during the night of the fast: they are [close] as garments to you, as you are to them. God was aware that you were betraying yourselves, so He turned to you in mercy and pardoned you: now you can lie with them- seek what God has ordained for you- eat and drink until the white thread of dawn becomes distinct from the black. Then fast until nightfall. Do not lie with them during the nights of your devotional retreat in the mosques: these are the bounds set by God, so do not go near them. In this way God makes His messages clear to people, that they may guard themselves against doing wrong

وَمِنۡ ءَايَٰتِهِۦٓ أَنۡ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنۡ أَنفُسِكُمۡ أَزۡوَٰجࣰ ا لِّتَسۡكُنُوٓاْ إِلَيۡهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيۡنَكُم مَّوَدَّةࣰ وَرَحۡمَةًۚ إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَأٓيَٰتࣲ لِّقَوۡمࣲ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ

Another of His signs is that He created spouses from among yourselves for you to live with in tranquillity: He ordained love and kindness between you. There truly are signs in this for those who reflect

ذَٰلِكَ ٱلَّذِي يُبَشِّرُ ٱللَّهُ عِبَادَهُ ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ وَعَمِلُواْ ٱلصَّٰلِحَٰتِۗ قُل لَّآ أَسۡـَٔلُكُمۡ عَلَيۡهِ أَجۡرًا إِلَّا ٱلۡمَوَدَّةَ فِي ٱلۡقُرۡبَىٰۗ وَمَن يَقۡتَرِفۡ حَسَنَةࣰ نَّزِدۡ لَهُۥ فِيهَا حُسۡنًاۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ غَفُورࣱ شَكُورٌ

it is of this that God gives good news to His servants who believe and do good deeds. Say [Prophet], ‘I ask no reward from you for this, only the affection due to kin.’ If anyone does good, We shall increase it for him; God is most forgiving and most appreciative

يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ لَا تَتَّخِذُواْ عَدُوِّي وَعَدُوَّكُمۡ أَوۡلِيَآءَ تُلۡقُونَ إِلَيۡهِم بِٱلۡمَوَدَّةِ وَقَدۡ كَفَرُواْ بِمَا جَآءَكُم مِّنَ ٱلۡحَقِّ يُخۡرِجُونَ ٱلرَّسُولَ وَإِيَّاكُمۡ أَن تُؤۡمِنُواْ بِٱللَّهِ رَبِّكُمۡ إِن كُنتُمۡ خَرَجۡتُمۡ جِهَٰدࣰ ا فِي سَبِيلِي وَٱبۡتِغَآءَ مَرۡضَاتِيۚ تُسِرُّونَ إِلَيۡهِم بِٱلۡمَوَدَّةِ وَأَنَا۠ أَعۡلَمُ بِمَآ أَخۡفَيۡتُمۡ وَمَآ أَعۡلَنتُمۡۚ وَمَن يَفۡعَلۡهُ مِنكُمۡ فَقَدۡ ضَلَّ سَوَآءَ ٱلسَّبِيلِ

You who believe, do not take My enemies and yours as your allies, showing them friendship when they have rejected the truth you have received, and have driven you and the Messenger out simply because you believe in God, your Lord––not if you truly emigrated in order to strive for My cause and seek My good pleasure. You secretly show them friendship––I know all you conceal and all you reveal–– but any of you who do this are straying from the right path

وَلَئِنۡ أَصَٰبَكُمۡ فَضۡلࣱ مِّنَ ٱللَّهِ لَيَقُولَنَّ كَأَن لَّمۡ تَكُنۢ بَيۡنَكُمۡ وَبَيۡنَهُۥ مَوَدَّةࣱ يَٰلَيۡتَنِي كُنتُ مَعَهُمۡ فَأَفُوزَ فَوۡزًا عَظِيمࣰ ا

yet he is sure to say, if you are favoured by God, ‘If only I had been with them, I could have made great gains,’ as if there had been no ties of affection between you and him

۞لَتَجِدَنَّ أَشَدَّ ٱلنَّاسِ عَدَٰوَةࣰ لِّلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ ٱلۡيَهُودَ وَٱلَّذِينَ أَشۡرَكُواْۖ وَلَتَجِدَنَّ أَقۡرَبَهُم مَّوَدَّةࣰ لِّلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ ٱلَّذِينَ قَالُوٓاْ إِنَّا نَصَٰرَىٰۚ ذَٰلِكَ بِأَنَّ مِنۡهُمۡ قِسِّيسِينَ وَرُهۡبَانࣰ ا وَأَنَّهُمۡ لَا يَسۡتَكۡبِرُونَ

You [Prophet] are sure to find that the most hostile to the believers are the Jews and those who associate other deities with God; you are sure to find that the closest in affection towards the believers are those who say, ‘We are Christians,’ for there are among them people devoted to learning and ascetics. These people are not given to arrogance

(It is made lawful for you to go in unto your wives on the night of the fast...) [2:187]. According to the report of al-Walibi, Ibn �Abbas said: �This is because after the nightfall (�Isha�) prayer during Ramadan, the Muslims were forbidden to have food or sex until the following night. But some Muslims, among whom were �Umar ibn al-Khattab, complained to Allah�s Messenger, Allah bless him and give him peace, about this. And so Allah, exalted is He, revealed this verse�. Abu Bakr al-Asfahani informed us> Abu�l-Shaykh al-Hafiz> �Abd al-Rahman ibn Muhammad al-Razi> Sahl ibn �Uthman al-�Askari> Yahya ibn Abi Za�idah> his father and others> Abu Ishaq> al-Bara� ibn �Azib who said: �After breaking their fast, the Muslims used to be allowed to eat, drink and have sexual intercourse for as long as they did not sleep. Once they went to sleep, they were forbidden to do all these things until the f

Permitted to you upon the night of the Fast is to go in to your wives in sexual intercourse this was revealed as an abrogation of its unlawfulness during the earliest phase of Islam as well as an abrogation of the unlawfulness of eating and drinking after the night prayer; they are a vestment for you and you are a vestment for them a metaphor for their embraces or their need for one another; God knows that you have been betraying yourselves by having sexual intercourse on the eve of the fast this happened with ‘Umar b. al-Khattāb and others and they apologised to the Prophet s and so He has turned to you relenting before you even turned in repentance and He has pardoned you. So now when it is permitted to you lie with them in sexual intercourse and seek what God has prescribed for you of sexual intercourse or what it produces of offspring; and eat and drink at any time during the night u

And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates — Eve was created from Adam’s rib and the remainder of mankind from the reproductive fluids of men and women — that you might find peace by their side and become intimate with them and He ordained between you all affection and mercy. Surely in that mentioned there are signs for a people who reflect upon God’s handiwork exalted be He.

And among His signs is this that He created you from dust, and then – behold you are human beings scattered (20)And among His signs is this that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect (21) Among the Signs of Allah Allah says: وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ (And among His signs) – which speak of His might and power, is the fact that He created your father Adam out of dust. ثُمَّ إِذَا أَنْتُمْ بَشَرٌ تَنْتَشِرُونَ (and then – behold you are human beings scattered!) So man's origins lie in dust, then in a despised liquid, then he is formed and becomes a clot, then a lump of flesh, then bones in the form of a human being. Then Allah clothes the bones with flesh. Then the soul is breathed into him and he can hear and see. Then he comes forth from his mot

(Say (O Muhammad, unto mankind): I ask of you no fee therefor, save loving kindness among kinsfolk�) [42:23]. Said Ibn �Abbas: �When the Messenger of Allah, Allah bless him and give him peace, migrated to Medina, he went through periods of time when he faced needs and rights which he had to address but did not have the means to do so. The Helpers said: �Allah, exalted is He, has guided you through this man who is the son of your sister. He faces life�s vicissitudes and has rights but does not have the means to fulfil them. Collect for him from your wealth that which will not hurt you and give it to him so that he uses it to help himself with the ups and downs of life�. They collected some wealth and took it to him. They said: �O Messenger of Allah, you are the son of our sister, and Allah, exalted is He, has guided us through you. Sometimes you go through ups and downs in life and you al

That is the good tidings read yubshiru or yubashshiru from bishāra ‘good news’ which God gives to His servants who believe and perform righteous deeds. Say ‘I do not ask of you any reward for it for delivering the Message except the affection for my kinsfolk illā ‘except’ this represents a discontinuous exception in other words ‘but I do ask of you that you show affection for my kinship with you which at the same time is your kinship’; for he the Prophet had kinship ties with all the subdivisions of the tribe of Quraysh. And whoever acquires a good deed an act of obedience We shall enhance for him its goodness by multiplying the reward for it. Surely God is Forgiving of sins Appreciative even of little good and so He multiplies it manifold.

حَدَّثَنَا قُتَيْبَةُ، حَدَّثَنَا حَمَّادُ بْنُ زَيْدٍ، عَنْ عَمْرِو بْنِ دِينَارٍ، عَنْ جَابِرِ بْنِ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، قَالَ تَزَوَّجْتُ امْرَأَةً فَأَتَيْتُ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَقَالَ ‏"‏ أَتَزَوَّجْتَ يَا جَابِرُ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ فَقُلْتُ نَعَمْ ‏.‏ فَقَالَ ‏"‏ بِكْرًا أَمْ ثَيِّبًا ‏"‏ ‏.‏ فَقُلْتُ لاَ بَلْ ثَيِّبًا ‏.‏ فَقَالَ ‏"‏ هَلاَّ جَارِيَةً تُلاَعِبُهَا وَتُلاَعِبُكَ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ فَقُلْتُ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ إِنَّ عَبْدَ اللَّهِ مَاتَ وَتَرَكَ سَبْعَ بَنَاتٍ أَوْ تِسْعًا فَجِئْتُ بِمَنْ يَقُومُ عَلَيْهِنَّ ‏.‏ قَالَ فَدَعَا لِي ‏.‏ قَالَ وَفِي الْبَابِ عَنْ أُبَىِّ بْنِ كَعْبٍ وَكَعْبِ بْنِ عُجْرَةَ ‏.‏ قَالَ أَبُو عِيسَى حَدِيثُ جَابِرِ بْنِ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ حَدِيثٌ حَسَنٌ صَحِيحٌ ‏.‏

Jabir bin Abdullah narrated:"I married a woman and went to the Prophet, he said: 'O Jabir! Have you married?' I said: 'Yes.' He said: 'A virgin or a matron?' I said: 'A matron.' He said: 'Why didn't you marry a young girl, so that you may play with her and she with you?' I said: 'O Messenger of Allah! Abdullah (his father) died and left behind seven - or nine - daughter, so I have brought someone who can look after them.'" (He said:) "So he supplicated for me

حَدَّثَنَا عَبَّاسُ بْنُ عَبْدِ الْعَظِيمِ الْعَنْبَرِيُّ، حَدَّثَنَا النَّضْرُ بْنُ مُحَمَّدٍ الْجُرَشِيُّ الْيَمَامِيُّ، حَدَّثَنَا عِكْرِمَةُ بْنُ عَمَّارٍ، حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو زُمَيْلٍ، عَنْ مَالِكِ بْنِ مَرْثَدٍ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ أَبِي ذَرٍّ، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ "‏ تَبَسُّمُكَ فِي وَجْهِ أَخِيكَ لَكَ صَدَقَةٌ وَأَمْرُكَ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَنَهْيُكَ عَنِ الْمُنْكَرِ صَدَقَةٌ وَإِرْشَادُكَ الرَّجُلَ فِي أَرْضِ الضَّلاَلِ لَكَ صَدَقَةٌ وَبَصَرُكَ لِلرَّجُلِ الرَّدِيءِ الْبَصَرِ لَكَ صَدَقَةٌ وَإِمَاطَتُكَ الْحَجَرَ وَالشَّوْكَةَ وَالْعَظْمَ عَنِ الطَّرِيقِ لَكَ صَدَقَةٌ وَإِفْرَاغُكَ مِنْ دَلْوِكَ فِي دَلْوِ أَخِيكَ لَكَ صَدَقَةٌ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قَالَ وَفِي الْبَابِ عَنِ ابْنِ مَسْعُودٍ وَجَابِرٍ وَحُذَيْفَةَ وَعَائِشَةَ وَأَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ ‏.‏ قَالَ أَبُو عِيسَى هَذَا حَدِيثٌ حَسَنٌ غَرِيبٌ ‏.‏ وَأَبُو زُمَيْلٍ اسْمُهُ سِمَاكُ بْنُ الْوَلِيدِ الْحَنَفِيُّ ‏.‏

Abu Dharr narrated that the Messenger of Allah said :"Your smiling in the face of your brother is charity, commanding good and forbidding evil is charity, your giving directions to a man lost in the land is charity for you. Your seeing for a man with bad sight is a charity for you, your removal of a rock, a thorn or a bone from the road is charity for you. Your pouring what remains from your bucket into the bucket of your brother is charity for you

حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ اللَّهِ بْنُ مَسْلَمَةَ بْنِ قَعْنَبٍ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنَا أَفْلَحُ بْنُ حُمَيْدٍ، عَنِ الْقَاسِمِ بْنِ مُحَمَّدٍ، عَنْ عَائِشَةَ، قَالَتْ كُنْتُ أَغْتَسِلُ أَنَا وَرَسُولُ اللَّهِ، صلى الله عليه وسلم مِنْ إِنَاءٍ وَاحِدٍ تَخْتَلِفُ أَيْدِينَا فِيهِ مِنَ الْجَنَابَةِ ‏.‏

A'isha reported:I and the Messenger (ﷺ) took a bath from the same vessel and our hands alternated into it in the state that we had had sexual intercourse

حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ الْمُثَنَّى، حَدَّثَنَا مُعَاذُ بْنُ هِشَامٍ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنِي أَبِي، عَنْ يَحْيَى بْنِ أَبِي كَثِيرٍ، حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو سَلَمَةَ بْنُ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ، أَنَّ زَيْنَبَ بِنْتَ أُمِّ سَلَمَةَ، حَدَّثَتْهُ أَنَّ أُمَّ سَلَمَةَ حَدَّثَتْهَا قَالَتْ، كَانَتْ هِيَ وَرَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم يَغْتَسِلاَنِ فِي الإِنَاءِ الْوَاحِدِ مِنَ الْجَنَابَةِ ‏.‏

Zainab bint Umm Salama (the wife of the Holy Prophet) reported that Umm Salama and the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) took a bath from the same vessel

حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو صَالِحٍ الأَنْطَاكِيُّ، مَحْبُوبُ بْنُ مُوسَى أَخْبَرَنَا أَبُو إِسْحَاقَ، - يَعْنِي الْفَزَارِيَّ - عَنْ هِشَامِ بْنِ عُرْوَةَ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، وَعَنْ أَبِي سَلَمَةَ، عَنْ عَائِشَةَ، رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا أَنَّهَا كَانَتْ مَعَ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فِي سَفَرٍ قَالَتْ فَسَابَقْتُهُ فَسَبَقْتُهُ عَلَى رِجْلَىَّ فَلَمَّا حَمَلْتُ اللَّحْمَ سَابَقْتُهُ فَسَبَقَنِي فَقَالَ ‏ "‏ هَذِهِ بِتِلْكَ السَّبْقَةِ ‏"‏ ‏.‏

Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin: while she was on a journey along with the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ): I had a race with him (the Prophet) and I outstripped him on my feet. When I became fleshy, (again) I had a race with him (the Prophet) and he outstripped me. He said: This is for that outstripping

حَدَّثَنَا مُسَدَّدٌ، حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ اللَّهِ بْنُ دَاوُدَ، عَنْ مِسْعَرٍ، عَنِ الْمِقْدَامِ بْنِ شُرَيْحٍ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ عَائِشَةَ، قَالَتْ كُنْتُ أَتَعَرَّقُ الْعَظْمَ وَأَنَا حَائِضٌ، فَأُعْطِيهِ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَيَضَعُ فَمَهُ فِي الْمَوْضِعِ الَّذِي فِيهِ وَضَعْتُهُ وَأَشْرَبُ الشَّرَابَ فَأُنَاوِلُهُ فَيَضَعُ فَمَهُ فِي الْمَوْضِعِ الَّذِي كُنْتُ أَشْرَبُ مِنْهُ ‏.‏

Aishah said:I would eat flesh from a bone when I was menstruating, then hand it over to the Prophet(ﷺ) and he would put his mouth where I had put my mouth: I would drink, then hand it over to him, and he would put his mouth( at the place) where I drank

قال عطاء عن ابن عباس رضي الله عنهما : المودة

قال النوري إذا تزوج وقال أي شيء للمرأة فاعلم أنه لص وإذا أهدى إليهم فلا ينبغي أن يهدى ليضطرهم إلى المقابلة بأكثر منه وكذلك إذا أهدوا إليه فنية طلب الزيادة نية فاسدة فأما التهادي فمستحب وهو سبب المودة

قوله مهاداة السر أي تردد السر على وجه الألطاف والمودة

هو في شرعة المودة ذو شك % بعيد من صحة الإيمان

والخليل الصديق والأنثى خليلة والخلالة والخلالة والخلالة بكسر الخاء وفتحها وضمها الصداقة والمودة قال

وأما الخلم فهو مأخوذ من المخالمة وهي المصادقة والمودة والخلم الصديق والأخلام الأصحاب قال الكميت

Open hearts build lives: positive emotions, induced through loving-kindness meditation, build consequential personal resources.: B. L. Fredrickson's (1998, 2001) broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions asserts that people's daily experiences of positive emotions compound over time to build a variety of consequential personal resources. The authors tested this build hypothesis in a field experiment with working adults (n = 139), half of whom were randomly-assigned to begin a practice of loving-kindness meditation. Results showed that this meditation practice produced increases over time in daily experiences of positi

Oxytocin enhances brain reward system responses in men viewing the face of their female partner.: The biological mechanisms underlying long-term partner bonds in humans are unclear. The evolutionarily conserved neuropeptide oxytocin (OXT) is associated with the formation of partner bonds in some species via interactions with brain dopamine reward systems. However, whether it plays a similar role in humans has as yet not been established. Here, we report the results of a discovery and a replication study, each involving a double-blind, placebo-controlled, within-subject, pharmaco-functional M

Neuroimaging of love: fMRI meta-analysis evidence toward new perspectives in sexual medicine.: Introduction: Brain imaging is becoming a powerful tool in the study of human cerebral functions related to close personal relationships. Outside of subcortical structures traditionally thought to be involved in reward-related systems, a wide range of neuroimaging studies in relationship science indicate a prominent role for different cortical networks and cognitive factors. Thus, the field needs a better anatomical/network/whole-brain model to help translate scientific knowledge from lab bench

A wait-list randomized controlled trial of loving-kindness meditation programme for self-criticism.: Unlabelled: Self-criticism is a vulnerability risk factor for a number of psychological disorders, and it predicts poor response to psychological and pharmacological treatments. In the current study, we evaluated the efficacy of a loving-kindness meditation (LKM) programme designed to increase self-compassion in a sample of self-critical individuals. Thirty-eight individuals with high scores on the self-critical perfectionism subscale of the Dysfunctional Attitude Scale were randomized to an LKM

Differential effects of mindful breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and loving-kindness meditation on decentering and negative reactions to repetitive thoughts.: Decentering has been proposed as a potential mechanism of mindfulness-based interventions but has received limited empirical examination to date in experimental studies comparing mindfulness meditation to active comparison conditions. In the present study, we compared the immediate effects of mindful breathing (MB) to two alternative stress-management techniques: progressive muscle relaxation (PMR) and loving-kindness meditation (LKM) to test whether decentering is unique to mindfulness meditati

The common neural bases between sexual desire and love: a multilevel kernel density fMRI analysis.: Introduction: One of the most difficult dilemmas in relationship science and couple therapy concerns the interaction between sexual desire and love. As two mental states of intense longing for union with others, sexual desire and love are, in fact, often difficult to disentangle from one another. Aim: The present review aims to help understand the differences and similarities between these two mental states using a comprehensive statistical meta-analyses of all functional magnetic resonance imag

Developmental and dyadic perspectives on commitment in adult romantic relationships.

We tested hypotheses concerning the developmental roots of becoming the "weak-link" (less committed) partner in adult romantic relationships and the associations between partners' absolute and relative levels of commitment and dyadic outcomes. We examined 78 target 20- to 21-year-olds who were involved in a romantic relationship and who had been studied since birth. As predicted, people who received lower-quality support from caregivers in toddlerhood or who were less able to resolve conflicts with a best friend in midadolescence were more likely to become the weak-link partner in a romantic relationship at age 20 to 21. Furthermore, lower commitment on the part of the weak-link partner coupled with greater discrepancy in commitment between partners predicted a greater likelihood that the couple would display hostility (rated by observers) during a videotaped conflict-resolution task whe…

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Fears of compassion: development of three self-report measures.

Objectives: There is increasing evidence that helping people develop compassion for themselves and others has powerful impacts on negative affect and promotes positive affect. However, clinical observations suggest that some individuals, particularly those high in self-criticism, can find self-compassion and receiving compassion difficult and can be fearful of it. This study therefore developed measures of fear of: compassion for others, compassion from others, and compassion for self. We also explored the relationship of these fears with established compassion for self and compassion for others measures, self-criticism, attachment styles, and depression, anxiety, and stress. Method: Students (N= 222) and therapists (N= 53) completed measures of fears of compassion, self-compassion, compassion for others, self-criticism, adult attachment, and psychopathology. Results: Fear of compassion …

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Intolerance of uncertainty and emotional distress following the death of a loved one.

Research has shown that intolerance of uncertainty (IU) - the tendency to react negatively to situations that are uncertain - is involved in worry and generalized anxiety disorder, as well as in other anxiety symptoms and disorders. To our knowledge, no studies have yet examined the association between IU and emotional distress connected with the death of a loved one. Yet, it seems plausible that those who have more difficulties to tolerate the uncertainties that often times occur following such a loss experience more intense distress. The current study examined this assumption, using self-reported data from 134 bereaved individuals. Findings showed that IU was positively and significantly correlated with symptom levels of complicated grief and posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), even when controlling for time since loss (the single demographic/loss-related variable associated with sym…

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Romantic relationships of emerging adult survivors of childhood cancer.

Objective: To assess whether childhood cancer survivors experience difficulties in their romantic relationships during emerging adulthood (18-25 years) and to identify who may be at risk for long-term social sequelae. Methods: Emerging adult survivors of childhood cancer (n=60) and controls without a history of chronic illness (n=60) completed an online assessment of their romantic relationships, including perceived relationship satisfaction. Severity of initial treatment was rated by healthcare providers for participants with cancer. Results: Although survivors of childhood cancer do not differ from demographically similar controls in satisfaction with, conflict in, and duration of romantic relationships, they reported fewer romantic relationships and greater distress at relationship end. Within the survivor group, higher trait anxiety, older age at diagnosis, and more severe treatment …

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Loving-kindness meditation increases social connectedness.

The need for social connection is a fundamental human motive, and it is increasingly clear that feeling socially connected confers mental and physical health benefits. However, in many cultures, societal changes are leading to growing social distrust and alienation. Can feelings of social connection and positivity toward others be increased? Is it possible to self-generate these feelings? In this study, the authors used a brief loving-kindness meditation exercise to examine whether social connection could be created toward strangers in a controlled laboratory context. Compared with a closely matched control task, even just a few minutes of loving-kindness meditation increased feelings of social connection and positivity toward novel individuals on both explicit and implicit levels. These results suggest that this easily implemented technique may help to increase positive social emotions …

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Protective factors and the development of resilience in the context of neighborhood disadvantage.

The purpose of the present study was to examine relations among multiple child and family protective factors, neighborhood disadvantage, and positive social adjustment in a sample of 226 urban, low SES boys followed from infancy to early adolescence. The results indicated that child IQ, nurturant parenting, and parent-child relationship quality, measured in early childhood, were all significantly associated with a composite measure tapping low levels of antisocial behavior and high levels of social skills at ages 11 and 12. Parental romantic partner relationship quality (RPRQ) was only significantly related to positive social adjustment in the context of low levels of neighborhood disadvantage. Results suggest that with the exception of RPRQ, these protective factors operate in a comparable manner with respect to positive social adjustment for this predominantly low-income urban sample o…

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Self-compassion and relationship maintenance: the moderating roles of conscientiousness and gender.

Should intimates respond to their interpersonal mistakes with self-criticism or with self-compassion? Although it is reasonable to expect self-compassion to benefit relationships by promoting self-esteem, it is also reasonable to expect self-compassion to hurt relationships by removing intimates' motivation to correct their interpersonal mistakes. Two correlational studies, 1 experiment, and 1 longitudinal study demonstrated that whether self-compassion helps or hurts relationships depends on the presence versus absence of dispositional sources of the motivation to correct interpersonal mistakes. Among men, the implications of self-compassion were moderated by conscientiousness. Among men high in conscientiousness, self-compassion was associated with greater motivation to correct interpersonal mistakes (Studies 1 and 3), observations of more constructive problem-solving behaviors (Study …

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"Love Over Fear": How Nostalgic Songs and Relationship Types Buffer Death Anxiety.

The fear of death is a fundamental human anxiety. From the perspective of terror management theory (TMT), this study examines the potential of music to alleviate death anxiety. We conducted a 2 (salience: mortality vs. control) × 2 (song type: nostalgic vs. non-nostalgic) × 2 (relationship type: romantic vs. parent-child) between-subjects factorial experiment with 335 middle-aged participants (ages 35-40) who were married, had children, and had living parents. Multiple interaction effects among mortality salience, nostalgia, and relationship type indicated that romantic songs - especially nostalgic romantic songs - were more effective in reducing death anxiety than parent-child relationship songs. The findings highlight the defensive function of romantic relationship songs within the TMT framework, offering new insights for clinical interventions and public mental health practices aimed …

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"Death and Love Amid the COVID-19 Pandemic": Effects of Pathogen Threats on Online Dating and Social Distancing From Life-History Strategy Perspectives.

Drawing from the terror management theory (TMT) and evolutionary perspectives of Life-History Strategy, a between-subject online experiment examined the interaction effects of pre-existing death anxiety, fear-inducing media content (coronavirus threat vs. gun violence threat vs. low threat mental disorder), and intrasexual competition for mates on online dating intentions and social distancing intentions during the COVID-19 pandemic. Results indicate the interaction effects of participants' pre-experimental death anxiety and different types of fear-inducing media content on perceived fear and intention to use online dating websites/apps as well as the interaction effects of pre-experimental intrasexual competitiveness and fear-inducing media content on social distancing intention in the context of online dating. Theoretical contributions to the terror management literature and practical …

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Executive functioning and nontarget emotions in late life.

When confronted with an emotion prototype (e.g., loss), individuals may experience not only target emotions (e.g., sadness), but also nontarget emotions (emotions that are atypical or incongruent with an emotion prototype; e.g., gratitude in response to loss). What are the cognitive correlates of nontarget emotions? Drawing from models of emotion generation, the present laboratory-based study examined associations between aspects of executive functioning (i.e., working memory, inhibition, verbal fluency) and the subjective experience of positive and negative nontarget emotions in response to sad and awe film clips in 129 healthy older adults. Findings showed that (a) lower working memory was associated with higher levels of positive and negative nontarget (but not target) emotions in response to sad and awe film clips. Moreover, (b) associations were specific to working memory and not fo…

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The meaning of love and its bittersweet nature.

Love is the core of human experience and central to our meaning in life and wellbeing, yet it is also a complex concept full of ambiguity and contradiction. The main purpose of this paper is fourfold: Firstly, we want to clarify questions such as 'What is the meaning of love?' and 'Why is meaning of love so important to us?' Secondly, we want to explain why love is both suffering and essential for our happiness and mental health. Thirdly, we identify the major types of love and clarify which types are constructive and which are destructive. We also identify the key dimensions of true love. Finally, we emphasise that love does not always mean happiness; rather, it is meant to be a school to teach us important lessons and to make us complete. Therefore, we need to embrace suffering and at the same time cultivate the constructive types of love to improve our mental health and to make the wo…

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Dynamic autonomic nervous system states arise during emotions and manifest in basal physiology.

The outflow of the autonomic nervous system (ANS) is continuous and dynamic, but its functional organization is not well understood. Whether ANS patterns accompany emotions, or arise in basal physiology, remain unsettled questions in the field. Here, we searched for brief ANS patterns amidst continuous, multichannel physiological recordings in 45 healthy older adults. Participants completed an emotional reactivity task in which they viewed video clips that elicited a target emotion (awe, sadness, amusement, disgust, or nurturant love); each video clip was preceded by a pre-trial baseline period and followed by a post-trial recovery period. Participants also sat quietly for a separate 2-min resting period to assess basal physiology. Using principal components analysis and unsupervised clustering algorithms to reduce the second-by-second physiological data during the emotional reactivity t…

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Love, Judgement and HIV: Congregants' Perspectives on an Intervention for Black Churches to Promote Critical Awareness of HIV Affecting Black Canadians.

We assess participants' experience of Black Pastors Raising Awareness and Insight of Stigma through Engagement (Black PRAISE), an intervention for Black churches to promote critical awareness of HIV affecting Black Canadian communities. We used a community-based participatory approach to implement Black PRAISE among six churches in the Greater Toronto Area and Ottawa, in October-November 2016. For the intervention, congregants received a booklet with validated HIV-related information, attended a sermon on compassion and justice, viewed a short film on HIV-related stigma, and completed baseline and follow-up surveys to evaluate the effectiveness of the intervention. We then conducted in-depth interviews with 18 pastors and congregants from the six churches to explore how they experienced the intervention. Three major themes emerged from an iterative exploration of the thematic content of …

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Love, Listen and Learn: Grandmothers' Experiences of Grief Following Their Child's Pregnancy Loss.

Objectives: In Australia, 15-20% of pregnancies result in miscarriage, and 0.69% in stillbirth. Pregnancy loss is a distressing experience for parents, with many turning to their own parents for support. Pregnancy loss has been identified as an ambiguous loss, leading to disenfranchised grief. However little research has been conducted regarding grandparents' experiences following pregnancy loss. Much of what is known comes indirectly from family studies of grief and loss. This study aimed to explore grandparents' experiences of loss and grief, following a child's pregnancy loss. Design: A grounded theory approach using a qualitative inductive thematic analysis research design was employed. Individual participant interviews provided the data for analysis which was conducted using a six-step approach. Methods: Interviews were conducted with 14 grandmothers. Interviews were semi-structured…

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Tears of joy, aesthetic chills and heartwarming feelings: Physiological correlates of Kama Muta.

Situations involving increased closeness or exceptional kindness are often labeled as moving or touching and individuals often report bodily symptoms, including tears, goosebumps, and warmth in the body. Recently, the kama muta framework has been proposed as a cross-cultural conceptualization of these experiences. Prior research on kama muta has mostly relied on subjective reports. Thus, our main goal of the present project was to examine the pattern of physiological responses to kama muta inducing videos and compare it to the patterns for the similar, though distinct emotions of sadness and awe. One hundred forty-four Portuguese and Norwegian participants were individually exposed to all three emotion conditions. Several psychophysiological indexes of the autonomic nervous system were collected continuously during exposure, including cardiovascular, respiratory, and electrodermal activi…

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Prolonged grief and attachment security: A latent class analysis.

The death of a loved one has been associated with a wide range of mental health outcomes. Attachment theory is one of the primary paradigms for understanding bereavement outcome, yet there is comparatively little examination of the relationship between attachment style and bereavement responses. In this study we use Latent Class Analysis to identify subgroups of bereaved individuals based on patterns of prolonged grief (PG) and major depression symptom co-occurrence in 285 bereaved individuals. We then explored the relationship between these subgroups and attachment anxiety and avoidance. Three new subgroups of individuals were identified: one showing high levels of PGD and depression (PGD/depression), one showing high depression (Depression), and one showing few symptoms (Low). Attachment anxiety significantly differentiated between the three groups; the highest levels of attachment anx…

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Wealth, poverty, and happiness: Social class is differentially associated with positive emotions.

Is higher social class associated with greater happiness? In a large nationally representative U.S. sample (N = 1,519), we examined the association between social class (household income) and self-reported tendencies to experience 7 distinct positive emotions that are core to happiness: amusement, awe, compassion, contentment, enthusiasm, love, and pride. Consistent with past research indicating that social class underlies differential patterns of attending to the self versus orienting to others, higher social class was associated with greater self-oriented feelings of contentment and pride, and with greater amusement. In contrast, lower social class was associated with more other-oriented feelings of compassion and love, and with greater awe. There were no class differences in enthusiasm. We discuss that individuals from different social class backgrounds may exhibit different patterns …

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Cumulative risk on the oxytocin receptor gene (OXTR) underpins empathic communication difficulties at the first stages of romantic love.

Empathic communication between couples plays an important role in relationship quality and individual well-being and research has pointed to the role of oxytocin in providing the neurobiological substrate for pair-bonding and empathy. Here, we examined links between genetic variability on the oxytocin receptor gene (OXTR) and empathic behaviour at the initiation of romantic love. Allelic variations on five OXTR single nucleotide polymorphisms (SNPs) previously associated with susceptibility to disorders of social functioning were genotyped in 120 new lovers: OXTRrs13316193, rs2254298, rs1042778, rs2268494 and rs2268490. Cumulative genetic risk was computed by summing risk alleles on each SNP. Couples were observed in support-giving interaction and behaviour was coded for empathic communication, including affective congruence, maintaining focus on partner, acknowledging partner's distress…

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Loving-Kindness Meditation practice associated with longer telomeres in women.

Relatively short telomere length may serve as a marker of accelerated aging, and shorter telomeres have been linked to chronic stress. Specific lifestyle behaviors that can mitigate the effects of stress might be associated with longer telomere lengths. Previous research suggests a link between behaviors that focus on the well-being of others, such as volunteering and caregiving, and overall health and longevity. We examined relative telomere length in a group of individuals experienced in Loving-Kindness Meditation (LKM), a practice derived from the Buddhist tradition which utilizes a focus on unselfish kindness and warmth towards all people, and control participants who had done no meditation. Blood was collected by venipuncture, and Genomic DNA was extracted from peripheral blood leukocytes. Quantitative real time PCR was used to measure relative telomere length (RTL) (Cawthon, 2002) …

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Inductive discipline, parental expression of disappointed expectations, and moral identity in adolescence.

Within the fields of socialization and moral development, the relationship of parenting to adolescents' sense of morality and self has been understudied. This study investigated the relationships between perceived parental disciplinary techniques and moral identity among early and middle adolescents. Participants included 93 (54% female) 5th, 8th and 10th graders, as well as their mothers. Students completed self-report measures concerning their mothers' disciplinary techniques and moral self-concept; mothers reported specifically on parental discipline frequency. The parental discipline measure was structured in terms of Hoffman's typology of induction, love withdrawal, and power assertion. Adolescents reported the frequency of their mothers' disciplinary techniques, as well as their perceptions (fairness or appropriateness evaluations, emotional reactions) concerning their mothers' mos…

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Feeling good: autonomic nervous system responding in five positive emotions.

Although dozens of studies have examined the autonomic nervous system (ANS) aspects of negative emotions, less is known about ANS responding in positive emotion. An evolutionary framework was used to define five positive emotions in terms of fitness-enhancing function, and to guide hypotheses regarding autonomic responding. In a repeated measures design, participants viewed sets of visual images eliciting these positive emotions (anticipatory enthusiasm, attachment love, nurturant love, amusement, and awe) plus an emotionally neutral state. Peripheral measures of sympathetic and vagal parasympathetic activation were assessed. Results indicated that the emotion conditions were characterized by qualitatively distinct profiles of autonomic activation, suggesting the existence of multiple, physiologically distinct positive emotions.

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Maternal and paternal plasma, salivary, and urinary oxytocin and parent-infant synchrony: considering stress and affiliation components of human bonding.

Studies in mammals have implicated the neuropeptide oxytocin (OT) in processes of bond formation and stress modulation, yet the involvement of OT in human bonding throughout life remains poorly understood. We assessed OT in the plasma, saliva, and urine of 112 mothers and fathers interacting with their 4-6-month-old infants. Parent-infant interactions were micro-coded for parent and child's social behaviors and for the temporal coordination of their socio-affective cues. Parents were interviewed regarding their attachment to the infant and reported on bonding to own parents, romantic attachment, and parenting stress. Results indicated that OT in plasma (pOT) and saliva (sOT) were inter-related and were unrelated to OT in urine (uOT). pOT and sOT in mothers and fathers were associated with parent and child's social engagement, affect synchrony, and positive communicative sequences between…

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Creating a curtain of protection: nurses' experiences of grief following patient death.

Purpose: To describe the lived experience of nurses surrounding the death of their patients. Design: A qualitative phenomenologic approach was used for the interview and analysis framework. Methods to ensure trustworthiness and rigor were incorporated into the design. Methods: Using semistructured interviews and phenomenologic concepts, the investigators interviewed 11 registered nurses where data was analyzed using methods of Heideggerian hermeneutical analysis and van Manen's progression of reflection, description, writing, and rewriting. Findings: Four themes were identified: (a) Reciprocal relationship transcends professional relationship; (b) initial patient death events are formative; (c) nurses' coping responses incorporate spiritual worldviews and caring rituals; and (d) remaining "professional" requires compartmentalizing of experience. Conclusions: Nurses create a curtain of pr…

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Influence of different positive emotions on persuasion processing: a functional evolutionary approach.

Much research has found that positive affect facilitates increased reliance on heuristics in cognition. However, theories proposing distinct evolutionary fitness-enhancing functions for specific positive emotions also predict important differences among the consequences of different positive emotion states. Two experiments investigated how six positive emotions influenced the processing of persuasive messages. Using different methods to induce emotions and assess processing, we showed that the positive emotions of anticipatory enthusiasm, amusement, and attachment love tended to facilitate greater acceptance of weak persuasive messages (consistent with previous research), whereas the positive emotions of awe and nurturant love reduced persuasion by weak messages. In addition, a series of mediation analyses suggested that the effects distinguishing different positive emotions from a neutr…

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Adults' autonomic and subjective emotional responses to infant vocalizations: the role of secure base script knowledge.

This article examines the extent to which secure base script knowledge-as reflected in an adult's ability to generate narratives in which attachment-related threats are recognized, competent help is provided, and the problem is resolved-is associated with adults' autonomic and subjective emotional responses to infant distress and nondistress vocalizations. Adults who demonstrated low levels of secure base knowledge showed greater electrodermal reactivity and stronger declines in their feelings of love while they listened to a recording of an infant crying. In contrast, secure base knowledge was not significantly associated with adults' responses to infant laughter. Results are discussed in terms of their role in extending prior research on the psychophysiology of adult attachment and their possible implications for the intergenerational transmission of attachment-related experience.

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