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Affection and play in marriage المودة

Warmth, touch, humour and time together between spouses.

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Qurʾān

القرآن6 shown

Verses named for this subject by hand come first. The rest are found by the subject’s own Arabic and English senses and are shown as lexical matches, not as anchors anyone has confirmed.

Qur'ān 2:187Arabic sense: لباس | English sense: garment | named: named for theme_bridge theme affection-play

أُحِلَّ لَكُمۡ لَيۡلَةَ ٱلصِّيَامِ ٱلرَّفَثُ إِلَىٰ نِسَآئِكُمۡۚ هُنَّ لِبَاسࣱ لَّكُمۡ وَأَنتُمۡ لِبَاسࣱ لَّهُنَّۗ عَلِمَ ٱللَّهُ أَنَّكُمۡ كُنتُمۡ تَخۡتَانُونَ أَنفُسَكُمۡ فَتَابَ عَلَيۡكُمۡ وَعَفَا عَنكُمۡۖ فَٱلۡـَٰٔنَ بَٰشِرُوهُنَّ وَٱبۡتَغُواْ مَا كَتَبَ ٱللَّهُ لَكُمۡۚ وَكُلُواْ وَٱشۡرَبُواْ حَتَّىٰ يَتَبَيَّنَ لَكُمُ ٱلۡخَيۡطُ ٱلۡأَبۡيَضُ مِنَ ٱلۡخَيۡطِ ٱلۡأَسۡوَدِ مِنَ ٱلۡفَجۡرِۖ ثُمَّ أَتِمُّواْ ٱلصِّيَامَ إِلَى ٱلَّيۡلِۚ وَلَا تُبَٰشِرُوهُنَّ وَأَنتُمۡ عَٰكِفُونَ فِي ٱلۡمَسَٰجِدِۗ تِلۡكَ حُدُودُ ٱللَّهِ فَلَا تَقۡرَبُوهَاۗ كَذَٰلِكَ يُبَيِّنُ ٱللَّهُ ءَايَٰتِهِۦ لِلنَّاسِ لَعَلَّهُمۡ يَتَّقُونَ

You [believers] are permitted to lie with your wives during the night of the fast: they are [close] as garments to you, as you are to them. God was aware that you were betraying yourselves, so He turned to you in mercy and pardoned you: now you can lie with them- seek what God has ordained for you- eat and drink until the white thread of dawn becomes distinct from the black. Then fast until nightfall. Do not lie with them during the nights of your devotional retreat in the mosques: these are the bounds set by God, so do not go near them. In this way God makes His messages clear to people, that they may guard themselves against doing wrong

Qur'ān 30:21Arabic sense: موده | named: named for theme_bridge theme affection-play

وَمِنۡ ءَايَٰتِهِۦٓ أَنۡ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنۡ أَنفُسِكُمۡ أَزۡوَٰجࣰ ا لِّتَسۡكُنُوٓاْ إِلَيۡهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيۡنَكُم مَّوَدَّةࣰ وَرَحۡمَةًۚ إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَأٓيَٰتࣲ لِّقَوۡمࣲ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ

Another of His signs is that He created spouses from among yourselves for you to live with in tranquillity: He ordained love and kindness between you. There truly are signs in this for those who reflect

Qur'ān 42:23Arabic sense: المودة, موده | English sense: affection

ذَٰلِكَ ٱلَّذِي يُبَشِّرُ ٱللَّهُ عِبَادَهُ ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ وَعَمِلُواْ ٱلصَّٰلِحَٰتِۗ قُل لَّآ أَسۡـَٔلُكُمۡ عَلَيۡهِ أَجۡرًا إِلَّا ٱلۡمَوَدَّةَ فِي ٱلۡقُرۡبَىٰۗ وَمَن يَقۡتَرِفۡ حَسَنَةࣰ نَّزِدۡ لَهُۥ فِيهَا حُسۡنًاۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ غَفُورࣱ شَكُورٌ

it is of this that God gives good news to His servants who believe and do good deeds. Say [Prophet], ‘I ask no reward from you for this, only the affection due to kin.’ If anyone does good, We shall increase it for him; God is most forgiving and most appreciative

Qur'ān 60:1Arabic sense: المودة, موده

يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ لَا تَتَّخِذُواْ عَدُوِّي وَعَدُوَّكُمۡ أَوۡلِيَآءَ تُلۡقُونَ إِلَيۡهِم بِٱلۡمَوَدَّةِ وَقَدۡ كَفَرُواْ بِمَا جَآءَكُم مِّنَ ٱلۡحَقِّ يُخۡرِجُونَ ٱلرَّسُولَ وَإِيَّاكُمۡ أَن تُؤۡمِنُواْ بِٱللَّهِ رَبِّكُمۡ إِن كُنتُمۡ خَرَجۡتُمۡ جِهَٰدࣰ ا فِي سَبِيلِي وَٱبۡتِغَآءَ مَرۡضَاتِيۚ تُسِرُّونَ إِلَيۡهِم بِٱلۡمَوَدَّةِ وَأَنَا۠ أَعۡلَمُ بِمَآ أَخۡفَيۡتُمۡ وَمَآ أَعۡلَنتُمۡۚ وَمَن يَفۡعَلۡهُ مِنكُمۡ فَقَدۡ ضَلَّ سَوَآءَ ٱلسَّبِيلِ

You who believe, do not take My enemies and yours as your allies, showing them friendship when they have rejected the truth you have received, and have driven you and the Messenger out simply because you believe in God, your Lord––not if you truly emigrated in order to strive for My cause and seek My good pleasure. You secretly show them friendship––I know all you conceal and all you reveal–– but any of you who do this are straying from the right path

Qur'ān 4:73Arabic sense: موده | English sense: affection

وَلَئِنۡ أَصَٰبَكُمۡ فَضۡلࣱ مِّنَ ٱللَّهِ لَيَقُولَنَّ كَأَن لَّمۡ تَكُنۢ بَيۡنَكُمۡ وَبَيۡنَهُۥ مَوَدَّةࣱ يَٰلَيۡتَنِي كُنتُ مَعَهُمۡ فَأَفُوزَ فَوۡزًا عَظِيمࣰ ا

yet he is sure to say, if you are favoured by God, ‘If only I had been with them, I could have made great gains,’ as if there had been no ties of affection between you and him

Qur'ān 5:82English sense: affection | Arabic sense: موده

۞لَتَجِدَنَّ أَشَدَّ ٱلنَّاسِ عَدَٰوَةࣰ لِّلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ ٱلۡيَهُودَ وَٱلَّذِينَ أَشۡرَكُواْۖ وَلَتَجِدَنَّ أَقۡرَبَهُم مَّوَدَّةࣰ لِّلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ ٱلَّذِينَ قَالُوٓاْ إِنَّا نَصَٰرَىٰۚ ذَٰلِكَ بِأَنَّ مِنۡهُمۡ قِسِّيسِينَ وَرُهۡبَانࣰ ا وَأَنَّهُمۡ لَا يَسۡتَكۡبِرُونَ

You [Prophet] are sure to find that the most hostile to the believers are the Jews and those who associate other deities with God; you are sure to find that the closest in affection towards the believers are those who say, ‘We are Christians,’ for there are among them people devoted to learning and ascetics. These people are not given to arrogance

Tafsīr

التفسير6 shown

Commentary on the verses above, at most two editions per verse.

en-asbab-al-nuzul-by-al-wahidi on 2:187en-asbab-al-nuzul-by-al-wahidicommentary on an ayah this subject surfaced

(It is made lawful for you to go in unto your wives on the night of the fast...) [2:187]. According to the report of al-Walibi, Ibn �Abbas said: �This is because after the nightfall (�Isha�) prayer during Ramadan, the Muslims were forbidden to have food or sex until the following night. But some Muslims, among whom were �Umar ibn al-Khattab, complained to Allah�s Messenger, Allah bless him and give him peace, about this. And so Allah, exalted is He, revealed this verse�. Abu Bakr al-Asfahani informed us> Abu�l-Shaykh al-Hafiz> �Abd al-Rahman ibn Muhammad al-Razi> Sahl ibn �Uthman al-�Askari> Yahya ibn Abi Za�idah> his father and others> Abu Ishaq> al-Bara� ibn �Azib who said: �After breaking their fast, the Muslims used to be allowed to eat, drink and have sexual intercourse for as long as they did not sleep. Once they went to sleep, they were forbidden to do all these things until the f

en-al-jalalayn on 2:187en-al-jalalayncommentary on an ayah this subject surfaced

Permitted to you upon the night of the Fast is to go in to your wives in sexual intercourse this was revealed as an abrogation of its unlawfulness during the earliest phase of Islam as well as an abrogation of the unlawfulness of eating and drinking after the night prayer; they are a vestment for you and you are a vestment for them a metaphor for their embraces or their need for one another; God knows that you have been betraying yourselves by having sexual intercourse on the eve of the fast this happened with ‘Umar b. al-Khattāb and others and they apologised to the Prophet s and so He has turned to you relenting before you even turned in repentance and He has pardoned you. So now when it is permitted to you lie with them in sexual intercourse and seek what God has prescribed for you of sexual intercourse or what it produces of offspring; and eat and drink at any time during the night u

en-al-jalalayn on 30:21en-al-jalalayncommentary on an ayah this subject surfaced

And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates — Eve was created from Adam’s rib and the remainder of mankind from the reproductive fluids of men and women — that you might find peace by their side and become intimate with them and He ordained between you all affection and mercy. Surely in that mentioned there are signs for a people who reflect upon God’s handiwork exalted be He.

en-tafisr-ibn-kathir on 30:21en-tafisr-ibn-kathircommentary on an ayah this subject surfaced

And among His signs is this that He created you from dust, and then – behold you are human beings scattered (20)And among His signs is this that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect (21) Among the Signs of Allah Allah says: وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ (And among His signs) – which speak of His might and power, is the fact that He created your father Adam out of dust. ثُمَّ إِذَا أَنْتُمْ بَشَرٌ تَنْتَشِرُونَ (and then – behold you are human beings scattered!) So man's origins lie in dust, then in a despised liquid, then he is formed and becomes a clot, then a lump of flesh, then bones in the form of a human being. Then Allah clothes the bones with flesh. Then the soul is breathed into him and he can hear and see. Then he comes forth from his mot

en-asbab-al-nuzul-by-al-wahidi on 42:23en-asbab-al-nuzul-by-al-wahidicommentary on an ayah this subject surfaced

(Say (O Muhammad, unto mankind): I ask of you no fee therefor, save loving kindness among kinsfolk�) [42:23]. Said Ibn �Abbas: �When the Messenger of Allah, Allah bless him and give him peace, migrated to Medina, he went through periods of time when he faced needs and rights which he had to address but did not have the means to do so. The Helpers said: �Allah, exalted is He, has guided you through this man who is the son of your sister. He faces life�s vicissitudes and has rights but does not have the means to fulfil them. Collect for him from your wealth that which will not hurt you and give it to him so that he uses it to help himself with the ups and downs of life�. They collected some wealth and took it to him. They said: �O Messenger of Allah, you are the son of our sister, and Allah, exalted is He, has guided us through you. Sometimes you go through ups and downs in life and you al

en-al-jalalayn on 42:23en-al-jalalayncommentary on an ayah this subject surfaced

That is the good tidings read yubshiru or yubashshiru from bishāra ‘good news’ which God gives to His servants who believe and perform righteous deeds. Say ‘I do not ask of you any reward for it for delivering the Message except the affection for my kinsfolk illā ‘except’ this represents a discontinuous exception in other words ‘but I do ask of you that you show affection for my kinship with you which at the same time is your kinship’; for he the Prophet had kinship ties with all the subdivisions of the tribe of Quraysh. And whoever acquires a good deed an act of obedience We shall enhance for him its goodness by multiplying the reward for it. Surely God is Forgiving of sins Appreciative even of little good and so He multiplies it manifold.

Ḥadīth

الحديث6 shown

Sound narrations only, and never matched by text. A narration appears here because a compiler filed it under a chapter this subject maps to, or because someone read it and anchored it. Each row says which.

Jami' at-Tirmidhi 1100read and anchored to theme affection-play, pending owner approval

حَدَّثَنَا قُتَيْبَةُ، حَدَّثَنَا حَمَّادُ بْنُ زَيْدٍ، عَنْ عَمْرِو بْنِ دِينَارٍ، عَنْ جَابِرِ بْنِ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، قَالَ تَزَوَّجْتُ امْرَأَةً فَأَتَيْتُ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَقَالَ ‏"‏ أَتَزَوَّجْتَ يَا جَابِرُ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ فَقُلْتُ نَعَمْ ‏.‏ فَقَالَ ‏"‏ بِكْرًا أَمْ ثَيِّبًا ‏"‏ ‏.‏ فَقُلْتُ لاَ بَلْ ثَيِّبًا ‏.‏ فَقَالَ ‏"‏ هَلاَّ جَارِيَةً تُلاَعِبُهَا وَتُلاَعِبُكَ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ فَقُلْتُ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ إِنَّ عَبْدَ اللَّهِ مَاتَ وَتَرَكَ سَبْعَ بَنَاتٍ أَوْ تِسْعًا فَجِئْتُ بِمَنْ يَقُومُ عَلَيْهِنَّ ‏.‏ قَالَ فَدَعَا لِي ‏.‏ قَالَ وَفِي الْبَابِ عَنْ أُبَىِّ بْنِ كَعْبٍ وَكَعْبِ بْنِ عُجْرَةَ ‏.‏ قَالَ أَبُو عِيسَى حَدِيثُ جَابِرِ بْنِ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ حَدِيثٌ حَسَنٌ صَحِيحٌ ‏.‏

Jabir bin Abdullah narrated:"I married a woman and went to the Prophet, he said: 'O Jabir! Have you married?' I said: 'Yes.' He said: 'A virgin or a matron?' I said: 'A matron.' He said: 'Why didn't you marry a young girl, so that you may play with her and she with you?' I said: 'O Messenger of Allah! Abdullah (his father) died and left behind seven - or nine - daughter, so I have brought someone who can look after them.'" (He said:) "So he supplicated for me

Jami' at-Tirmidhi 1956read and anchored to theme affection-play, pending owner approval

حَدَّثَنَا عَبَّاسُ بْنُ عَبْدِ الْعَظِيمِ الْعَنْبَرِيُّ، حَدَّثَنَا النَّضْرُ بْنُ مُحَمَّدٍ الْجُرَشِيُّ الْيَمَامِيُّ، حَدَّثَنَا عِكْرِمَةُ بْنُ عَمَّارٍ، حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو زُمَيْلٍ، عَنْ مَالِكِ بْنِ مَرْثَدٍ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ أَبِي ذَرٍّ، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ "‏ تَبَسُّمُكَ فِي وَجْهِ أَخِيكَ لَكَ صَدَقَةٌ وَأَمْرُكَ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَنَهْيُكَ عَنِ الْمُنْكَرِ صَدَقَةٌ وَإِرْشَادُكَ الرَّجُلَ فِي أَرْضِ الضَّلاَلِ لَكَ صَدَقَةٌ وَبَصَرُكَ لِلرَّجُلِ الرَّدِيءِ الْبَصَرِ لَكَ صَدَقَةٌ وَإِمَاطَتُكَ الْحَجَرَ وَالشَّوْكَةَ وَالْعَظْمَ عَنِ الطَّرِيقِ لَكَ صَدَقَةٌ وَإِفْرَاغُكَ مِنْ دَلْوِكَ فِي دَلْوِ أَخِيكَ لَكَ صَدَقَةٌ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قَالَ وَفِي الْبَابِ عَنِ ابْنِ مَسْعُودٍ وَجَابِرٍ وَحُذَيْفَةَ وَعَائِشَةَ وَأَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ ‏.‏ قَالَ أَبُو عِيسَى هَذَا حَدِيثٌ حَسَنٌ غَرِيبٌ ‏.‏ وَأَبُو زُمَيْلٍ اسْمُهُ سِمَاكُ بْنُ الْوَلِيدِ الْحَنَفِيُّ ‏.‏

Abu Dharr narrated that the Messenger of Allah said :"Your smiling in the face of your brother is charity, commanding good and forbidding evil is charity, your giving directions to a man lost in the land is charity for you. Your seeing for a man with bad sight is a charity for you, your removal of a rock, a thorn or a bone from the road is charity for you. Your pouring what remains from your bucket into the bucket of your brother is charity for you

Sahih Muslim 321read and anchored to theme spouse-garment, pending owner approval

حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ اللَّهِ بْنُ مَسْلَمَةَ بْنِ قَعْنَبٍ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنَا أَفْلَحُ بْنُ حُمَيْدٍ، عَنِ الْقَاسِمِ بْنِ مُحَمَّدٍ، عَنْ عَائِشَةَ، قَالَتْ كُنْتُ أَغْتَسِلُ أَنَا وَرَسُولُ اللَّهِ، صلى الله عليه وسلم مِنْ إِنَاءٍ وَاحِدٍ تَخْتَلِفُ أَيْدِينَا فِيهِ مِنَ الْجَنَابَةِ ‏.‏

A'isha reported:I and the Messenger (ﷺ) took a bath from the same vessel and our hands alternated into it in the state that we had had sexual intercourse

Sahih Muslim 324read and anchored to theme spouse-garment, pending owner approval

حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ الْمُثَنَّى، حَدَّثَنَا مُعَاذُ بْنُ هِشَامٍ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنِي أَبِي، عَنْ يَحْيَى بْنِ أَبِي كَثِيرٍ، حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو سَلَمَةَ بْنُ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ، أَنَّ زَيْنَبَ بِنْتَ أُمِّ سَلَمَةَ، حَدَّثَتْهُ أَنَّ أُمَّ سَلَمَةَ حَدَّثَتْهَا قَالَتْ، كَانَتْ هِيَ وَرَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم يَغْتَسِلاَنِ فِي الإِنَاءِ الْوَاحِدِ مِنَ الْجَنَابَةِ ‏.‏

Zainab bint Umm Salama (the wife of the Holy Prophet) reported that Umm Salama and the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) took a bath from the same vessel

Sunan Abi Dawud 2578read and anchored to theme affection-play, pending owner approval

حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو صَالِحٍ الأَنْطَاكِيُّ، مَحْبُوبُ بْنُ مُوسَى أَخْبَرَنَا أَبُو إِسْحَاقَ، - يَعْنِي الْفَزَارِيَّ - عَنْ هِشَامِ بْنِ عُرْوَةَ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، وَعَنْ أَبِي سَلَمَةَ، عَنْ عَائِشَةَ، رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا أَنَّهَا كَانَتْ مَعَ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فِي سَفَرٍ قَالَتْ فَسَابَقْتُهُ فَسَبَقْتُهُ عَلَى رِجْلَىَّ فَلَمَّا حَمَلْتُ اللَّحْمَ سَابَقْتُهُ فَسَبَقَنِي فَقَالَ ‏ "‏ هَذِهِ بِتِلْكَ السَّبْقَةِ ‏"‏ ‏.‏

Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin: while she was on a journey along with the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ): I had a race with him (the Prophet) and I outstripped him on my feet. When I became fleshy, (again) I had a race with him (the Prophet) and he outstripped me. He said: This is for that outstripping

Sunan Abi Dawud 259read and anchored to theme affection-play, pending owner approval

حَدَّثَنَا مُسَدَّدٌ، حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ اللَّهِ بْنُ دَاوُدَ، عَنْ مِسْعَرٍ، عَنِ الْمِقْدَامِ بْنِ شُرَيْحٍ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ عَائِشَةَ، قَالَتْ كُنْتُ أَتَعَرَّقُ الْعَظْمَ وَأَنَا حَائِضٌ، فَأُعْطِيهِ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَيَضَعُ فَمَهُ فِي الْمَوْضِعِ الَّذِي فِيهِ وَضَعْتُهُ وَأَشْرَبُ الشَّرَابَ فَأُنَاوِلُهُ فَيَضَعُ فَمَهُ فِي الْمَوْضِعِ الَّذِي كُنْتُ أَشْرَبُ مِنْهُ ‏.‏

Aishah said:I would eat flesh from a bone when I was menstruating, then hand it over to the Prophet(ﷺ) and he would put his mouth where I had put my mouth: I would drink, then hand it over to him, and he would put his mouth( at the place) where I drank

Classical works

كتب التراث6 shown

Arabic originals, reached through the subject’s Arabic senses. Interpretive sources, never proof of a ruling.

ighathat §3061ighathatArabic sense: المودة, موده

قال عطاء عن ابن عباس رضي الله عنهما : المودة

ihya §3850ihyaArabic sense: المودة, موده

قال النوري إذا تزوج وقال أي شيء للمرأة فاعلم أنه لص وإذا أهدى إليهم فلا ينبغي أن يهدى ليضطرهم إلى المقابلة بأكثر منه وكذلك إذا أهدوا إليه فنية طلب الزيادة نية فاسدة فأما التهادي فمستحب وهو سبب المودة

madarij §5998madarijArabic sense: المودة, موده

قوله مهاداة السر أي تردد السر على وجه الألطاف والمودة

rawdat-muhibbin §1600rawdat-muhibbinArabic sense: المودة, موده

هو في شرعة المودة ذو شك % بعيد من صحة الإيمان

rawdat-muhibbin §210rawdat-muhibbinArabic sense: المودة, موده

والخليل الصديق والأنثى خليلة والخلالة والخلالة والخلالة بكسر الخاء وفتحها وضمها الصداقة والمودة قال

rawdat-muhibbin §213rawdat-muhibbinArabic sense: المودة, موده

وأما الخلم فهو مأخوذ من المخالمة وهي المصادقة والمودة والخلم الصديق والأخلام الأصحاب قال الكميت

Research library

المكتبة البحثية164 works held

Peer-reviewed work held with its DOI and abstract, labelled with the study design its publication types report. None of it has been read or assessed, so nothing here may be cited as showing anything. Retracted work is held for the record but never listed; a review that a later version replaced is listed under its replacement and marked.

10.1037/a0013262Journal of personality and social psychology (2008)MEDLINE-indexed journal, not yet read by us; matched on Love, Interpersonal Relations

Open hearts build lives: positive emotions, induced through loving-kindness meditation, build consequential personal resources.: B. L. Fredrickson's (1998, 2001) broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions asserts that people's daily experiences of positive emotions compound over time to build a variety of consequential personal resources. The authors tested this build hypothesis in a field experiment with working adults (n = 139), half of whom were randomly-assigned to begin a practice of loving-kindness meditation. Results showed that this meditation practice produced increases over time in daily experiences of positi

10.1073/pnas.1314190110Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America (2013)MEDLINE-indexed journal, not yet read by us; matched on Love, Interpersonal Relations

Oxytocin enhances brain reward system responses in men viewing the face of their female partner.: The biological mechanisms underlying long-term partner bonds in humans are unclear. The evolutionarily conserved neuropeptide oxytocin (OXT) is associated with the formation of partner bonds in some species via interactions with brain dopamine reward systems. However, whether it plays a similar role in humans has as yet not been established. Here, we report the results of a discovery and a replication study, each involving a double-blind, placebo-controlled, within-subject, pharmaco-functional M

10.1111/j.1743-6109.2010.01999.xThe journal of sexual medicine (2010)MEDLINE-indexed journal, not yet read by us; matched on Love, Interpersonal Relations

Neuroimaging of love: fMRI meta-analysis evidence toward new perspectives in sexual medicine.: Introduction: Brain imaging is becoming a powerful tool in the study of human cerebral functions related to close personal relationships. Outside of subcortical structures traditionally thought to be involved in reward-related systems, a wide range of neuroimaging studies in relationship science indicate a prominent role for different cortical networks and cognitive factors. Thus, the field needs a better anatomical/network/whole-brain model to help translate scientific knowledge from lab bench

10.1002/cpp.1893Clinical psychology & psychotherapy (2015)MEDLINE-indexed journal, not yet read by us; matched on Love

A wait-list randomized controlled trial of loving-kindness meditation programme for self-criticism.: Unlabelled: Self-criticism is a vulnerability risk factor for a number of psychological disorders, and it predicts poor response to psychological and pharmacological treatments. In the current study, we evaluated the efficacy of a loving-kindness meditation (LKM) programme designed to increase self-compassion in a sample of self-critical individuals. Thirty-eight individuals with high scores on the self-critical perfectionism subscale of the Dysfunctional Attitude Scale were randomized to an LKM

10.1016/j.brat.2010.06.006Behaviour research and therapy (2010)MEDLINE-indexed journal, not yet read by us; matched on Love

Differential effects of mindful breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and loving-kindness meditation on decentering and negative reactions to repetitive thoughts.: Decentering has been proposed as a potential mechanism of mindfulness-based interventions but has received limited empirical examination to date in experimental studies comparing mindfulness meditation to active comparison conditions. In the present study, we compared the immediate effects of mindful breathing (MB) to two alternative stress-management techniques: progressive muscle relaxation (PMR) and loving-kindness meditation (LKM) to test whether decentering is unique to mindfulness meditati

10.1111/j.1743-6109.2012.02651.xThe journal of sexual medicine (2012)MEDLINE-indexed journal, not yet read by us; matched on Love

The common neural bases between sexual desire and love: a multilevel kernel density fMRI analysis.: Introduction: One of the most difficult dilemmas in relationship science and couple therapy concerns the interaction between sexual desire and love. As two mental states of intense longing for union with others, sexual desire and love are, in fact, often difficult to disentangle from one another. Aim: The present review aims to help understand the differences and similarities between these two mental states using a comprehensive statistical meta-analyses of all functional magnetic resonance imag

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Manne SL, Kissane D, Zaider T, Kashy D, Lee D, Heckman C, Virtue SM (2015)cohort or longitudinalMEDLINE-indexed journal, not yet read by usJournal of family psychology : JFP : journal of the Division of Family Psychology of the American Psychological Association (Division 43)55 citations

Holding back, intimacy, and psychological and relationship outcomes among couples coping with prostate cancer.

The present study evaluated intimacy as a mechanism for the effects of holding back sharing concerns about cancer on couples' psychological distress, well-being, and marital satisfaction using the actor-partner interdependence model (APIM), and evaluated 2 possible moderators of these associations: the number of patient and spouse cancer concerns. We had 139 men treated for localized prostate cancer in the past year and their spouses complete surveys about holding back sharing cancer concerns, intimacy, distress, and relationship satisfaction, as well as patient and spouse cancer concerns. APIM-indicated that the association between holding back sharing concerns, and patient and spouse distress, well-being, and relationship satisfaction could be partially accounted for by their influence on patient and spouse perceptions of relationship intimacy. The number of cancer concerns did not mod

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Brock RL, Barry RA, Lawrence E, Dey J, Rolffs J (2012)cohort or longitudinalMEDLINE-indexed journal, not yet read by usAssessment21 citations

Internet administration of paper-and-pencil questionnaires used in couple research: assessing psychometric equivalence.

This study examined the psychometric equivalence of paper-and-pencil and Internet formats of key questionnaires used in couple research. Self-report questionnaires assessing interpersonal constructs (relationship satisfaction, communication/conflict management, partner support, emotional intimacy) and intrapersonal constructs (individual traits, psychological symptoms, contextual influences) were administered to young adults in committed dating relationships. The same measures were administered twice via paper-and-pencil and/or Internet methods over a 2-week period. Method order was counterbalanced among participants, and temporal stability was controlled. Intrapersonal and interpersonal measures generally remained reliable when administered online and demonstrated quantitative and qualitative equivalence across methods. The implications of online administration of questionnaires are dis

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Baucom BR, Atkins DC, Eldridge K, McFarland P, Sevier M, Christensen A (2011)cohort or longitudinalMEDLINE-indexed journal, not yet read by usJournal of family psychology : JFP : journal of the Division of Family Psychology of the American Psychological Association (Division 43)20 citations

The language of demand/withdraw: verbal and vocal expression in dyadic interactions.

Associations between vocally expressed emotional arousal, influence tactics, and demand/withdraw behavior were examined in a treatment-seeking sample of 130 seriously and stably distressed, married, heterosexual couples and in a community sample (N = 38) of 18 married heterosexual and 20 dating heterosexual couples. Fundamental frequency was used to measure emotional arousal, and computational linguistics were used to measure influence tactics. Higher levels of demand/withdraw behavior were associated with greater use of manipulative and controlling influence tactics, higher levels of emotional arousal, and less frequent use of cooperative and compromising influence tactics. Overall, demanders tended to express more arousal and to use more influence tactics than withdrawers. Both influence tactics and emotional arousal were uniquely associated with demand/withdraw behavior. Implications

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Maslow GR, Haydon A, McRee AL, Ford CA, Halpern CT (2011)cohort or longitudinalMEDLINE-indexed journal, not yet read by usThe Journal of adolescent health : official publication of the Society for Adolescent Medicine133 citations

Growing up with a chronic illness: social success, educational/vocational distress.

Objectives: We compared adult educational, vocational, and social outcomes among young adults with and without childhood-onset chronic illness in a nationally representative U.S. sample. Methods: We used data from Wave IV (2008) of the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health. We compared respondents who reported childhood-onset cancer, heart disease, diabetes, or epilepsy with young adults without these chronic illnesses in terms of marriage, having children, living with parents, romantic relationship quality, educational attainment, income, and employment. Multivariate models controlled for sociodemographic factors and adult-onset chronic illness. Results: As compared with those without childhood chronic illness, respondents with childhood chronic illness had similar odds of marriage (odds ratios [OR] = .89, 95% CI: .65-1.24), having children (OR = .99, 95% CI: .70-1.42), and l

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Slatcher RB, Robles TF, Repetti RL, Fellows MD (2010)cohort or longitudinalMEDLINE-indexed journal, not yet read by usPsychosomatic medicine40 citations

Momentary work worries, marital disclosure, and salivary cortisol among parents of young children.

Objective: To investigate whether worries about work are linked to people's own cortisol levels and their spouses' cortisol levels in everyday life and whether marital factors may moderate these links. Although research has shown that satisfying marriages can buffer the physiological effects of everyday stress, the specific mechanisms through which marriage influences the processing and transmission of stress have not yet been identified. Methods: Thirty-seven healthy married couples completed baseline measures and then provided saliva samples and indicated their worries about work for six times a day from a Saturday morning through a Monday evening. Results: Wives' cortisol levels were associated positively with their own work worries (p = .008) and with their husbands' work worries (p = .006). Husbands' cortisol levels were associated positively only with their own work worries (p = .0

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Paleari FG, Regalia C, Fincham FD (2009)cohort or longitudinalMEDLINE-indexed journal, not yet read by usPsychological assessment16 citations

Measuring offence-specific forgiveness in marriage: the Marital Offence-Specific Forgiveness Scale (MOFS).

Three studies involving 328 married couples were conducted to validate the Marital Offence-Specific Forgiveness Scale, a new measure assessing offence-specific forgiveness for marital transgressions. The studies examined the dimensionality; internal consistency; and discriminant, concurrent, and predictive validity of the new measure. The final scale comprised 2 distinct correlated dimensions, 1 positive (Benevolence) and 1 negative (Resentment-Avoidance), both of which had adequate internal consistency. The 2 dimensions discriminated marital forgiveness from affective empathy, rumination, attributions, and marital quality. Convergent validity of the new scale was indicated by significant relationships between its underlying dimensions and a host of predicted sociocognitive, relationship, trait, and well-being correlates of forgiveness. Providing evidence for predictive validity, forgive

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Fisher TD, McNulty JK (2008)cohort or longitudinalMEDLINE-indexed journal, not yet read by usJournal of family psychology : JFP : journal of the Division of Family Psychology of the American Psychological Association (Division 43)43 citations

Neuroticism and marital satisfaction: the mediating role played by the sexual relationship.

Why is Neuroticism so harmful to marriage and other intimate relationships? Given that such relationships generally involve a sexual component, the current longitudinal study explored whether the apparent negative impact of own and partner's Neuroticism on marriage could be explained by dissatisfaction with the sexual relationship. Just after their weddings, 72 couples reported their marital satisfaction, sexual satisfaction, and Neuroticism. One year later, they again reported their marital and sexual satisfaction. Own Neuroticism predicted lower levels of concurrent marital and sexual satisfaction among husbands and wives, declines in sexual satisfaction among husbands and wives, and declines in marital satisfaction among wives. Partner's Neuroticism predicted lower levels of concurrent marital satisfaction among husbands and wives, lower levels of concurrent sexual satisfaction among

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Lawrence E, Rothman AD, Cobb RJ, Rothman MT, Bradbury TN (2008)cohort or longitudinalMEDLINE-indexed journal, not yet read by usJournal of family psychology : JFP : journal of the Division of Family Psychology of the American Psychological Association (Division 43)145 citations

Marital satisfaction across the transition to parenthood.

The purpose of the present study was to discriminate between the 2 dominant perspectives governing research on the nature of marital change over the transition to parenthood. Progress can be made in understanding this transition by recognizing the role of uncontrolled sources of variability in research designs, defining and using control groups, and timing of data collection around the child's arrival, and the authors conducted a study incorporating these methodological refinements. Growth curve analyses were conducted on marital satisfaction data collected twice before and twice after the birth of the 1st child and at corresponding points for voluntarily childless couples (N = 156 couples). Spouses who were more satisfied prior to pregnancy had children relatively early in marriage, and parents experienced greater declines in marital satisfaction compared to nonparents. Couples with pla

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Balsam KF, Beauchaine TP, Rothblum ED, Solomon SE (2008)cohort or longitudinalMEDLINE-indexed journal, not yet read by usDevelopmental psychology50 citations

Three-year follow-up of same-sex couples who had civil unions in Vermont, same-sex couples not in civil unions, and heterosexual married couples.

This study was a 3-year follow-up of 65 male and 138 female same-sex couples who had civil unions in Vermont during the 1st year of that legislation. These couples were compared with 23 male and 61 female same-sex couples in their friendship circles who did not have civil unions and with 55 heterosexual married couples (1 member of each was a sibling to a member of a civil union couple). Despite the legalized nature of their relationships, civil union couples did not differ on any measure from same-sex couples who were not in civil unions. However, same-sex couples not in civil unions were more likely to have ended their relationships than same-sex civil union or heterosexual married couples. Compared with heterosexual married participants, both types of same-sex couples reported greater relationship quality, compatibility, and intimacy and lower levels of conflict. Longitudinal predicto

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Funk JL, Rogge RD (2007)cohort or longitudinalMEDLINE-indexed journal, not yet read by usJournal of family psychology : JFP : journal of the Division of Family Psychology of the American Psychological Association (Division 43)690 citations

Testing the ruler with item response theory: increasing precision of measurement for relationship satisfaction with the Couples Satisfaction Index.

The present study took a critical look at a central construct in couples research: relationship satisfaction. Eight well-validated self-report measures of relationship satisfaction, including the Marital Adjustment Test (MAT; H. J. Locke & K. M. Wallace, 1959), the Dyadic Adjustment Scale (DAS; G. B. Spanier, 1976), and an additional 75 potential satisfaction items, were given to 5,315 online participants. Using item response theory, the authors demonstrated that the MAT and DAS provided relatively poor levels of precision in assessing satisfaction, particularly given the length of those scales. Principal-components analysis and item response theory applied to the larger item pool were used to develop the Couples Satisfaction Index (CSI) scales. Compared with the MAS and the DAS, the CSI scales were shown to have higher precision of measurement (less noise) and correspondingly greater po

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Zuccala M, Abbott M (2026)reviewMEDLINE-indexed journal, not yet read by usDeath studies

Death, love, and evolution: Conceptions of death beyond terror.

Recent years have seen an influx in interest on the role of death anxiety in human behavior. Terror Management Theory prevails as the leading theoretical and empirical paradigm utilized in the literature; however emerging research has revealed serious shortcomings with the paradigm. In this paper we examine the concept of death anxiety from a socio-evolutionary perspective. We outline how the attachment system evolved to prevent death during an extended period of juvenile vulnerability and is further co-opted into adulthood to maintain survival. Through a broader understanding of contemporary evolutionary thinking, including attachment theory, we propose that the hitherto inconsistent and amorphous definition of death anxiety be more usefully re-conceptualized as a fear of premature death. We explore how this re-conceptualization can be used to help explicate phenomena that existing para

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Hofmann SG, Grossman P, Hinton DE (2011)reviewMEDLINE-indexed journal, not yet read by usClinical psychology review329 citations

Loving-kindness and compassion meditation: potential for psychological interventions.

Mindfulness-based meditation interventions have become increasingly popular in contemporary psychology. Other closely related meditation practices include loving-kindness meditation (LKM) and compassion meditation (CM), exercises oriented toward enhancing unconditional, positive emotional states of kindness and compassion. This article provides a review of the background, the techniques, and the empirical contemporary literature of LKM and CM. The literature suggests that LKM and CM are associated with an increase in positive affect and a decrease in negative affect. Preliminary findings from neuroendocrine studies indicate that CM may reduce stress-induced subjective distress and immune response. Neuroimaging studies suggest that LKM and CM may enhance activation of brain areas that are involved in emotional processing and empathy. Finally, preliminary intervention studies support appli

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Collins WA, Welsh DP, Furman W (2009)reviewMEDLINE-indexed journal, not yet read by usAnnual review of psychology376 citations

Adolescent romantic relationships.

In this article, we review theoretical and empirical advances in research on romantic relationships between age 10 and the early twenties. First, we describe key themes in this area of research. Next, we briefly characterize the most influential theoretical formulations and distinctive methodological issues. We then describe research findings regarding pertinent social and developmental processes. We summarize the extensive findings on relationships with parents and peers as a context for romantic relationships. Finally, we characterize the growing evidence that adolescent romantic relationships are significant for individual adjustment and development, and we note promising directions for further research.

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Fisher HE, Aron A, Brown LL (2006)reviewMEDLINE-indexed journal, not yet read by usPhilosophical transactions of the Royal Society of London. Series B, Biological sciences114 citations

Romantic love: a mammalian brain system for mate choice.

Mammals and birds regularly express mate preferences and make mate choices. Data on mate choice among mammals suggest that this behavioural 'attraction system' is associated with dopaminergic reward pathways in the brain. It has been proposed that intense romantic love, a human cross-cultural universal, is a developed form of this attraction system. To begin to determine the neural mechanisms associated with romantic attraction in humans, we used functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) to study 17 people who were intensely 'in love'. Activation specific to the beloved occurred in the brainstem right ventral tegmental area and right postero-dorsal body of the caudate nucleus. These and other results suggest that dopaminergic reward and motivation pathways contribute to aspects of romantic love. We also used fMRI to study 15 men and women who had just been rejected in love. Preliminar

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Saarinen A, Harjunen V, Jasinskaja-Lahti I, Jääskeläinen IP, Ravaja N (2021)reviewMEDLINE-indexed journal, not yet read by usNeuroscience and biobehavioral reviews57 citations

Social touch experience in different contexts: A review.

Social touch is increasingly utilized in a variety of psychological interventions, ranging from parent-child interventions to psychotherapeutic treatments. Less attention has been paid, however, to findings that exposure to social touch may not necessarily evoke positive or pleasant responses. Social touch can convey different emotions from love and gratitude to harassment and envy, and persons' preferences to touch and be touched do not necessarily match with each other. This review of altogether 99 original studies focuses on how contextual factors modify target person's behavioral and brain responses to social touch. The review shows that experience of social touch is strongly modified by a variety of toucher-related and situational factors: for example, toucher's facial expressions, physical attractiveness, relationship status, group membership, and touched person's psychological dis

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Björnsdotter M, Morrison I, Olausson H (2010)reviewMEDLINE-indexed journal, not yet read by usExperimental brain research138 citations

Feeling good: on the role of C fiber mediated touch in interoception.

The human skin is innervated by a network of thin, slow-conducting afferent (C and Aδ) fibers, transmitting a diverse range of information. Classically, these fibers are described as thermo-, noci- or chemoreceptive, whereas mechanoreception is attributed exclusively to thick, fast-conducting (Aβ) afferents. A growing body of evidence, however, supports the notion that C tactile afferents comprise a second anatomically and functionally distinct system signaling touch in humans. This review discusses established as well as recent findings which highlight fundamental differences in peripheral and central information coding and processing between Aβ and C mechanoreception. We conclude that from the skin through the brain, C touch shares more characteristics with interoceptive modalities (e.g. pain, temperature, and itch) than exteroceptive Aβ touch, vision or hearing. In this light, we disc

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Saigal S, Morrison K, Schmidt LA (2020)reviewMEDLINE-indexed journal, not yet read by usSeminars in fetal & neonatal medicine21 citations

"Health, wealth and achievements of former very premature infants in adult life".

Very preterm survivors born in the early neonatal intensive care era are now in their middle adulthood. The literature from cohort studies and population-linked registries indicate that extreme prematurity is associated with lower educational attainment and income, higher need for social assistance, and lower rates of marriage/partnership and reproduction. In addition, with increasing age, many general and system-specific adverse health outcomes, such as psychiatric problems, hypertension, and cardio-metabolic disorders have emerged, resulting in high cumulative health care costs across the life-span. Yet, a significant majority of adults born preterm are leading productive lives and contributing to society. Although this information may not be directly applicable to survivors of modern neonatal intensive care, there is much to learn from these findings to inform and guide us into design

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Kiecolt-Glaser JK, Wilson SJ (2017)reviewMEDLINE-indexed journal, not yet read by usAnnual review of clinical psychology267 citations

Lovesick: How Couples' Relationships Influence Health.

This review highlights recent advances in research addressing intimate partner relationships and health. Consideration of the strong mutual influences that the members of a couple have on each other's mental and physical health trajectories provides a new way to view the health implications of couples' convergence or interdependence; marital closeness can have a clear downside when one partner has mental or physical health problems. Couples' interconnectedness can also be leveraged to promote better treatment outcomes. Major themes include the pivotal role of depression and the importance of gender differences in the pathways from the marital relationship to physiological functioning and health. The health risks and benefits of support are weighed. Additionally, two prominent emerging paths from marital distress to poor health are emphasized: sleep problems and metabolic alterations that

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Johnson MP (2006)reviewMEDLINE-indexed journal, not yet read by usViolence against women331 citations

Conflict and control: gender symmetry and asymmetry in domestic violence.

Four types of individual partner violence are identified based on the dyadic control context of the violence. In intimate terrorism, the individual is violent and controlling, the partner is not. In violent resistance, the individual is violent but not controlling; the partner is the violent and controlling one. In situational couple violence, although the individual is violent, neither the individual nor the partner is violent and controlling. In mutual violent control, the individual and the partner are violent and controlling. Evidence is presented that situational couple violence dominates in general surveys, intimate terrorism and violent resistance dominate in agency samples, and this is the source of differences across studies with respect to the gender symmetry of partner violence. An argument is made that if we want to understand partner violence, intervene effectively in indivi

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Graber EC, Laurenceau JP, Miga E, Chango J, Coan J (2011)MEDLINE-indexed journal, not yet read by usJournal of family psychology : JFP : journal of the Division of Family Psychology of the American Psychological Association (Division 43)19 citations

Conflict and love: predicting newlywed marital outcomes from two interaction contexts.

Research on marital interaction has focused primarily on couples in conflict contexts to understand better processes associated with concurrent and longitudinal outcomes such as marital stability and quality. Although this work has consistently revealed particular emotions (e.g., contempt) or behavioral sequences (e.g., demand/withdraw) predictive of later marital distress, it largely has neglected to take positive contexts into consideration. The present longitudinal study begins to address this gap in the literature by directly comparing newlywed behaviors from a conflict-resolution interaction with those from a love-paradigm interaction to predict relationship satisfaction and divorce proneness approximately 15 months later. Results showed that actor and partner negative (contempt) and positive (affection) emotions elicited in both positive (i.e., love) and negative (i.e., conflict) i

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Terry PE (2021)editorial or commentMEDLINE-indexed journal, not yet read by usAmerican journal of health promotion : AJHP

"A Bowl of Vegetables With Someone You Love": Faith, Health and Workplace Well-Being.

Worksite health and well-being initiatives will ideally be integrated with employers' efforts to address diversity, equity and inclusion issues. Social Determinants of Health (SDOH) include race, class, community health, income and other variables that companies can play a role in ameliorating. As much as spirituality is commonly espoused as a component of a holistic approach to health promotion, making space to discuss faith and health remains an uncommon strategy in the workplace wellness movement. Recognizing the value on investment (VOI) in wellness has eclipsed a return on investment as a driver of an employer's well-being strategy. This editorial argues that making space for learning about faith and health will intersect in vital ways with anti-racism work, diversity programs and similar efforts to eliminate health inequities, address SDOH and bolster the VOI of worksite well-being

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Of Love and Death: Death Anxiety, Attachment, and Suicide as Experienced by College Students.

Drawing from the mental health crisis present on college campuses, we investigate the psychological processes associated with suicidal ideation among undergraduate students. Specifically, we used Terror Management Theory to investigate how individuals who have a history of suicidal ideation handle traditional death anxiety in coordination with Benjamin's theory underlying Interpersonal Reconstructive Therapy to explore specific attachment-based mechanisms that may allow for exceptions to the perceived meaning of death. Results show it was the fantasy of suicide itself, including its relevance in the lives of others, that was used to alleviate fear of death among the suicidal.

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Schindler I, Paech J, Löwenbrück F (2015)MEDLINE-indexed journal, not yet read by usCognition & emotion6 citations

Linking admiration and adoration to self-expansion: different ways to enhance one's potential.

How is admiration different from adoration? We provided one answer to this question by examining the pathways through which admiration and adoration linked to self-expansion in a questionnaire and an experimental (autobiographical recall of emotion episodes) study. Both emotions were associated with increased potential efficacy to accomplish goals (i.e., self-expansion), but different action tendencies accounted for these links. While our emotion inductions did not successfully distinguish between admiration and adoration, we could statistically disentangle their effects through mediator models. In both studies, self-reported admiration linked to self-expansion through the tendency to emulate admired others. Adoration related to self-expansion through the tendency to affiliate with adored others. These findings were obtained after controlling for other emotions in response to the target

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Lam CB, Solmeyer AR, McHale SM (2012)MEDLINE-indexed journal, not yet read by usJournal of youth and adolescence42 citations

Sibling relationships and empathy across the transition to adolescence.

Although socioemotional competencies have been identified as key components of youths' positive development, most studies on empathy are cross-sectional, and research on the role of the family has focused almost exclusively on parental socialization. This study examined the developmental course of empathy from age 7 to 14 and the within-person associations between sibling warmth and conflict and youths' empathy. On three occasions across 2 years, mothers, fathers, and the two eldest siblings from 201 White, working- and middle-class families provided questionnaire data. Multilevel models revealed that, controlling for youths' pubertal status and parental education, girls' empathy increased during the transition to adolescence and then leveled off, but boys' lower levels of empathy remained relatively unchanged. Moreover, controlling for parental responsiveness and marital love, at times

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Braithwaite SR, Selby EA, Fincham FD (2011)MEDLINE-indexed journal, not yet read by usJournal of family psychology : JFP : journal of the Division of Family Psychology of the American Psychological Association (Division 43)21 citations

Forgiveness and relationship satisfaction: mediating mechanisms.

Although the ability to forgive transgressions has been linked to overall relationship satisfaction, the mechanisms that mediate this association have not been established. We propose that the tendency to forgive a romantic partner increases relationship satisfaction via increased relational effort and decreased negative conflict. In two studies, we used structural equations modeling to examine these variables as potential mechanisms that drive this association. In Study 1 (N = 523) and Study 2 (N = 446) we found that these variables significantly mediated the association between forgiveness and relationship satisfaction. The findings were robust when examined concurrently and longitudinally, across multiple measures of forgiveness, and when accounting for baseline relationship satisfaction and interpersonal commitment. These two mechanisms parallel theorized positive and negative dimens

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