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Pray for them, by name, for one thing they are quietly carrying.
To ask God for the very thing that weighs on them is one of the most intimate acts of love.
Qur’an and Sunnah
Call on Me and I will answer, God promises in the Qur'an, and the believers pray, Our Lord, give us joy in our spouses. To ask God for what weighs on them is love made into supplication.
وَٱلَّذِينَ يَقُولُونَ رَبَّنَا هَبۡ لَنَا مِنۡ أَزۡوَٰجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّٰتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعۡيُنࣲ وَٱجۡعَلۡنَا لِلۡمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا
those who pray, ‘Our Lord, give us joy in our spouses and offspring. Make us good examples to those who are aware of You’
Qur’an 25:74read it in the library
وَقَالَ رَبُّكُمُ ٱدۡعُونِيٓ أَسۡتَجِبۡ لَكُمۡۚ إِنَّ ٱلَّذِينَ يَسۡتَكۡبِرُونَ عَنۡ عِبَادَتِي سَيَدۡخُلُونَ جَهَنَّمَ دَاخِرِينَ
Your Lord says, ‘Call on Me and I will answer you; those who are too proud to serve Me will enter Hell humiliated.’
Qur’an 40:60read it in the library
Narrated AbuSa'id and AbuHurayrah: The Prophet (ﷺ) said: If a man awakens his wife at night, and then both pray or both offer two rak'ahs together, the (name of the )man will be recorded among those who mention the name of Allah, and the (name of the) woman will be recorded among those who mention the name of Allah. Ibn Kathir did not narrate this tradition as a statement of the Prophet (ﷺ), but he reported it as a…
Sunan Abi Dawud 1309graded sound, albanifull report
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
What the research says
Praying for a partner has been shown to soften the heart toward them and increase goodwill. Holding their specific burden before God is one of the most intimate things you can do unseen.
Lambert, N.; Fincham, F.; Stillman, T.; Graham, S.; Beach, S. (2009). Motivating Change in Relationships. Psychological Science doi
Prayer for the partner increased forgiveness.
Strength of evidence: research links. Replicated observational or longitudinal work.
Why it works
Praying for a partner softens the heart and increases goodwill.
Where this sits: Gottman method, Create Shared Meaning.
This one is still a draft. It is waiting on a scholar and a clinician to read it before it is published.