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If some of your appointments make it into the calendar and some do not, that is still better than none of them. Half a system is not a failed system.

The usual way these things die is not gradual. You miss a few days, decide it is not working, and drop the whole thing, which puts you back where you started. Decide in advance that partial counts. When you notice a gap, add the next thing rather than reviewing whether you deserve to keep going.

Qur’an and Sunnah

God does not burden any soul with more than it can bear (Quran 2:286). What you managed is counted, and the days you missed do not cancel it.

لَا يُكَلِّفُ ٱللَّهُ نَفۡسًا إِلَّا وُسۡعَهَاۚ لَهَا مَا كَسَبَتۡ وَعَلَيۡهَا مَا ٱكۡتَسَبَتۡۗ رَبَّنَا لَا تُؤَاخِذۡنَآ إِن نَّسِينَآ أَوۡ أَخۡطَأۡنَاۚ رَبَّنَا وَلَا تَحۡمِلۡ عَلَيۡنَآ إِصۡرࣰ ا كَمَا حَمَلۡتَهُۥ عَلَى ٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبۡلِنَاۚ رَبَّنَا وَلَا تُحَمِّلۡنَا مَا لَا طَاقَةَ لَنَا بِهِۦۖ وَٱعۡفُ عَنَّا وَٱغۡفِرۡ لَنَا وَٱرۡحَمۡنَآۚ أَنتَ مَوۡلَىٰنَا فَٱنصُرۡنَا عَلَى ٱلۡقَوۡمِ ٱلۡكَٰفِرِينَ

God does not burden any soul with more than it can bear: each gains whatever good it has done, and suffers its bad- ‘ Lord, do not take us to task if we forget or make mistakes. Lord, do not burden us as You burdened those before us. Lord, do not burden us with more than we have strength to bear. Pardon us, forgive us, and have mercy on us. You are our Protector, so help us against the disbelievers.’

Qur’an 2:286read it in the library

Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.

What the research says

A meta-analysis in adults found that both sides of perfectionism relate to depression, anxiety and obsessive compulsive symptoms, with anxious concern about falling short showing the stronger association. All or nothing thinking about your own systems belongs to that side. The evidence is about the link with distress rather than about how to keep a calendar going.

Callaghan T, Greene D, Shafran R, Lunn J, Egan SJ. (2024). The relationships between perfectionism and symptoms of depression, anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder in adults: a systematic review and meta-analysis.. Cognitive behaviour therapy doi

Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.

Why it works

Most systems are abandoned in the moment they are judged, not in the moment they fail.

This one is still a draft. It is waiting on a scholar and a clinician to read it before it is published.

Near this one

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If some of your appointments make it into the calendar and some do not, that is still better than none of them. Half a system is not a failed system · Inshirah