Areas › Focus, starting, and ADHD › Treatment and medication
People who are sleeping properly, eating properly and moving a bit tend to want each other more. The unglamorous parts of life management run closer to the bedroom than either of you might expect.
It is worth saying out loud when desire has quietly gone from a marriage, because the usual explanations reach for something heavier: he has lost interest, she does not find me attractive any more. Often what is there is exhaustion, and a body with nothing left over. Fixing the nights first is a gentler experiment than a conversation about whether the two of you still want each other.
This explains how treatments work. Never start, stop or change a medication because of something you read here.
Qur’an and Sunnah
God wants ease for you, not hardship (Quran 2:185). Ease in the body is not separate from ease between you, and it is usually the easier end to start from.
شَهۡرُ رَمَضَانَ ٱلَّذِيٓ أُنزِلَ فِيهِ ٱلۡقُرۡءَانُ هُدࣰ ى لِّلنَّاسِ وَبَيِّنَٰتࣲ مِّنَ ٱلۡهُدَىٰ وَٱلۡفُرۡقَانِۚ فَمَن شَهِدَ مِنكُمُ ٱلشَّهۡرَ فَلۡيَصُمۡهُۖ وَمَن كَانَ مَرِيضًا أَوۡ عَلَىٰ سَفَرࣲ فَعِدَّةࣱ مِّنۡ أَيَّامٍ أُخَرَۗ يُرِيدُ ٱللَّهُ بِكُمُ ٱلۡيُسۡرَ وَلَا يُرِيدُ بِكُمُ ٱلۡعُسۡرَ وَلِتُكۡمِلُواْ ٱلۡعِدَّةَ وَلِتُكَبِّرُواْ ٱللَّهَ عَلَىٰ مَا هَدَىٰكُمۡ وَلَعَلَّكُمۡ تَشۡكُرُونَ
It was in the month of Ramadan that the Quran was revealed as guidance for mankind, clear messages giving guidance and distinguishing between right and wrong. So any one of you who is present that month should fast, and anyone who is ill or on a journey should make up for the lost days by fasting on other days later. God wants ease for you, not hardship. He wants you to complete the prescribed period and to glorify Him for having guided you, so that you may be thankful
Qur’an 2:185read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
What the research says
The closest study in this bank is a randomised, double blind, placebo controlled trial of vitamin D and magnesium supplementation in 66 children with ADHD, prompted by reports of lower levels in this group, looking at mental health status. That is children, supplements and mood, so it does not touch adult desire at all. What it supports is only the modest general claim that the state of the body shows up in mental state, and the rest of the link here is reasoning rather than evidence.
Hemamy M, Pahlavani N, Amanollahi A, Islam SMS, McVicar J, Askari G, Malekahmadi M. (2021). The effect of vitamin D and magnesium supplementation on the mental health status of attention-deficit hyperactive children: a randomized controlled trial.. BMC pediatrics doi
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
Why it works
Wanting anything takes energy, and a body running on empty has none spare.
When not to
Desire has many causes, and if its absence is painful or long standing it deserves proper attention of its own, including a word with the prescriber, since some medication affects it directly.
This one is still a draft. It is waiting on a scholar and a clinician to read it before it is published.
Near this one
Rather than memorising which treatments to avoid, keep a few questions you can put to any of them. New products arrive faster than anyone can keep a list.
Better usually means smaller, rarer, or shorter. Pick something you can count, like losing your keys twice a week instead of every day.
Think of it the way you would think about diabetes. Something to manage with several things at once, most days, for as long as it is there.