Areas › Focus, starting, and ADHD › Feelings and focus
Step in while a child is only starting to wind up, and offer something calming rather than a correction. Slow breathing, counting, a soft toy, a quiet corner for a few minutes.
Three to ten minutes in a set place is plenty. It works best when the offer is warm and matter of fact, one sentence, no lecture about what they did. By the time a child is fully gone none of this is reachable, which is why the adult's job is mostly watching for the early signs rather than managing the peak.
Qur’an and Sunnah
'truly it is in the remembrance of God that hearts find peace' (Quran 13:28). A settling place for the heart is a real need, and children need it in a form they can actually reach.
ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ وَتَطۡمَئِنُّ قُلُوبُهُم بِذِكۡرِ ٱللَّهِۗ أَلَا بِذِكۡرِ ٱللَّهِ تَطۡمَئِنُّ ٱلۡقُلُوبُ
those who have faith and whose hearts find peace in the remembrance of God- truly it is in the remembrance of God that hearts find peace
Qur’an 13:28read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
What the research says
A systematic review with meta-analysis and meta-regression of mindfulness based approaches in ADHD found promising effects beyond the core symptoms, including on associated difficulties and on functioning. That gives some support to breathing and attention practices being worth teaching in a group where they are often written off as unrealistic. Most of that work is with older participants, and promising is the accurate word, so keep expectations sensible.
Oliva F, Malandrone F, di Girolamo G, Mirabella S, Colombi N, Carletto S, Ostacoli L. (2021). The efficacy of mindfulness-based interventions in attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder beyond core symptoms: A systematic review, meta-analysis, and meta-regression.. Journal of affective disorders doi
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
Why it works
The calming skills are only available while the child still has some hold on themselves.
This one is still a draft. It is waiting on a scholar and a clinician to read it before it is published.
Near this one
Being far apart is not the same as being out of touch. What usually stops contact is the question of who starts it, not the miles.
Self-restraint runs on a supply that stress uses up. In a week when everything is late and nothing has been slept on, you will react to things you would normally let go.
Explain the calming corner on a quiet Tuesday, not in the middle of a meltdown. New instructions do not go in once a child is already rising.