Areas › Your marriage › Repair after rupture
After a fight cools today, say the reconnecting thing: we are still okay.
The fight can leave a quiet fear. Naming that you are still solid puts it to rest.
Qur’an and Sunnah
The believers are brothers, so make peace between them (Qur'an 49:10). A reconnecting word after conflict is that peace.
إِنَّمَا ٱلۡمُؤۡمِنُونَ إِخۡوَةࣱ فَأَصۡلِحُواْ بَيۡنَ أَخَوَيۡكُمۡۚ وَٱتَّقُواْ ٱللَّهَ لَعَلَّكُمۡ تُرۡحَمُونَ
The believers are brothers, so make peace between your two brothers and be mindful of God, so that you may be given mercy
Qur’an 49:10read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
What the research says
A fight can leave a lingering fear that something broke. Saying we are okay, we are still us, out loud, is what mends the thread the argument pulled.
Johnson, S.M. (2019). Attachment Theory in Practice: Emotionally Focused Therapy with Individuals, Couples, and Families. Guilford
The originator's account of EFT as attachment-based practice.
Strength of evidence: research links. Replicated observational or longitudinal work.
Why it works
Explicit reconnection after conflict repairs the bond the fight strained.
Where this sits: EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy), attachment-based couple intervention.
This one is still a draft. It is waiting on a scholar and a clinician to read it before it is published.