Areas › Low mood and hard feelings › Name what you feel
When a feeling grips you, name it in one plain word: this is anger, this is fear, this is hurt.
Not a story about why. Just the name. Putting the feeling into a word loosens its hold.
Qur’an and Sunnah
God knows what is in every heart (Qur'an 3:119). To name honestly to yourself what He already sees is the first step to mastering it.
هَٰٓأَنتُمۡ أُوْلَآءِ تُحِبُّونَهُمۡ وَلَا يُحِبُّونَكُمۡ وَتُؤۡمِنُونَ بِٱلۡكِتَٰبِ كُلِّهِۦ وَإِذَا لَقُوكُمۡ قَالُوٓاْ ءَامَنَّا وَإِذَا خَلَوۡاْ عَضُّواْ عَلَيۡكُمُ ٱلۡأَنَامِلَ مِنَ ٱلۡغَيۡظِۚ قُلۡ مُوتُواْ بِغَيۡظِكُمۡۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ عَلِيمُۢ بِذَاتِ ٱلصُّدُورِ
This is how it is: here you are, you love them, but they do not love you; you believe in all the Scriptures and when they meet you, they say, ‘We believe,’ but when they are alone, they bite their fingertips in rage at you. [Prophet], say, ‘Die of rage [if you wish]!’ God knows exactly what is in everyone’s hearts
Qur’an 3:119read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
What the research says
Putting a feeling into words measurably quiets the brain's alarm centre. Naming it turns something that is driving you into something you are watching.
Lieberman, M. D.; Eisenberger, N. I.; Crockett, M. J.; Tom, S. M.; Pfeifer, J. H.; Way, B. M. (2007). Putting Feelings Into Words: Affect Labeling Disrupts Amygdala Activity in Response to Affective Stimuli. Psychological Science doi
Naming an emotion in words reduces amygdala activity, dampening the emotional reaction.
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
Why it works
Labelling an emotion in words dampens the brain's alarm and hands you back some control.
Where this sits: Emotion regulation, affect labeling (mindfulness-based).
This one is still a draft. It is waiting on a scholar and a clinician to read it before it is published.
Near this one
Give the feeling a number from zero to ten, and watch the number instead of obeying it.
Under the anger, name the softer feeling: often it is fear, or hurt, or feeling unseen.
When someone says they feel nothing, find out where the nothing reaches. All the time, or only towards good things, or only here, in this conversation, when criticism is in the air?