Areas › Yourself and your limits › Notice the pattern and flex
Notice your repeating move under stress, please, withdraw, control, and name it. Naming loosens it.
The pattern runs you until you can see it. Once named, it becomes a choice, not a reflex.
Qur’an and Sunnah
Let every soul consider carefully what it sends ahead for tomorrow (Quran 59:18). Looking honestly at your own pattern is exactly this considering.
يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ ٱتَّقُواْ ٱللَّهَ وَلۡتَنظُرۡ نَفۡسࣱ مَّا قَدَّمَتۡ لِغَدࣲۖ وَٱتَّقُواْ ٱللَّهَۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ خَبِيرُۢ بِمَا تَعۡمَلُونَ
You who believe! Be mindful of God, and let every soul consider carefully what it sends ahead for tomorrow; be mindful of God, for God is well aware of everything you do
Qur’an 59:18read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
What the research says
Spotting and naming your default pattern is the first step toward psychological flexibility; unseen, it runs automatically, and rigidity of response is closely tied to distress.
Kashdan, T. B. and Rottenberg, J. (2010). Psychological flexibility as a fundamental aspect of health. Clinical Psychology Review doi
Psychological flexibility, adapting responses to context, predicts wellbeing, while rigidity predicts distress.
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
Why it works
Recognising your habitual pattern creates the pause in which a different response becomes possible.
Where this sits: Dialectics and psychological flexibility.
This one is still a draft. It is waiting on a scholar and a clinician to read it before it is published.