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The first twinge often brings back every previous episode with it, and that dread is not separate from the pain. Fear tightens the muscles and turns the volume up.
Catching the moment is what helps: this is the twinge, and here comes the film of the last three weeks I lost to it. You are not talking yourself out of the pain, which would be a con. You are declining to add the second thing on top of it. Long slow out breaths and a warm hand where it hurts are enough of a response at that moment.
Qur’an and Sunnah
Musa's mother, facing the worst thing she could imagine, is told 'do not be afraid, and do not grieve' (Quran 28:7). Fear is addressed first, before anything about the situation has changed.
وَأَوۡحَيۡنَآ إِلَىٰٓ أُمِّ مُوسَىٰٓ أَنۡ أَرۡضِعِيهِۖ فَإِذَا خِفۡتِ عَلَيۡهِ فَأَلۡقِيهِ فِي ٱلۡيَمِّ وَلَا تَخَافِي وَلَا تَحۡزَنِيٓۖ إِنَّا رَآدُّوهُ إِلَيۡكِ وَجَاعِلُوهُ مِنَ ٱلۡمُرۡسَلِينَ
We inspired Moses’ mother, saying, ‘Suckle him, and then, when you fear for his safety, put him in the river: do not be afraid, and do not grieve, for We shall return him to you and make him a messenger.’
Qur’an 28:7read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
What the research says
A Cochrane review found that holding and feeding infants at the breast reduced their pain responses during procedures compared with no comfort at all. Even at the very beginning of life, the state a body is in changes how much a painful event registers. Newborns are not anticipating anything, so the review cannot tell you about dread specifically.
Shah PS, Herbozo C, Aliwalas LL, Shah VS. (2012). Breastfeeding or breast milk for procedural pain in neonates.. The Cochrane database of systematic reviews doi
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
Why it works
Bracing against pain you expect makes the body tighter, and tighter hurts more.
When not to
New, severe or changing pain needs a medical opinion before it is treated as a fear problem.
This one is still a draft. It is waiting on a scholar and a clinician to read it before it is published.
Near this one
Sometimes eyes water during body work with no sad thought attached to it. Nothing has gone wrong, and there is nothing that needs explaining.
When a treatment is described as approved, ask what it is approved for. Magnetic brain stimulation is licensed for depression, and using it for attention problems is off label.
The same treatment in two different clinics can go two different ways, and the difference is often the people. Kind, unhurried staff who explain things get better results.