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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

3 practices
My husband or wife remove filterBoth of us together remove filterComing and going remove filterClear all
Area
Low mood and hard feelings 2Focus, starting, and ADHD 1
How long you have
A minute 1Five minutes 1Twenty minutes 1
Who it is written for · My husband or wife
A practitioner 14Me 8Someone I care about 6My husband or wife 3
Where you are right now
Getting ready for something 2Coping, mostly 1
On your own, or with someone · Both of us together
On my own 4Involves someone else 4Both of us together 3
Theme
Shame 2Feelings and focus 1
Approach
Emotionally focused 2ADHD skills 1
When · Coming and going
Any ordinary day 23After a row 23When apart 4Coming and going 3Under stress 1

Do not walk into a hard event and improvise. Ten minutes beforehand, work out what is likely to happen, what you will do about it, and how you get out if you need to.

If someone is coming with you, make it a shared plan. What the signal is when one of you needs air, who says what to whom, when you leave. The point…

Five minutesFeelings and focusADHD skillsQur’an 16:98

When someone tells you they have failed, the most useful thing you can do is nothing clever. Let your face stay soft and keep looking at them.

Shame is braced for disgust, so it reads your face before it hears your words. A quick reassurance can even land as a rush to move on. Slower is…

A minuteShameEmotionally focusedQur’an 93:3

A friend or a counsellor telling you that you are not a monster helps, and it only takes you so far. The shame usually sits with one particular person, and it eases most when that person hears the thing and stays.

So aim a disclosure carefully rather than widely. Choose the person the shame is actually about, pick a moment with room in it, and say the small…

Twenty minutesShameEmotionally focusedQur’an 66:8

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.