Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

5 practices

Twenty minutes Both of us together Under stress Clear all

Area

Focus, starting, and ADHD 2 Low mood and hard feelings 2 Worry and anxiety 1

How long you have · Twenty minutes

A minute 4 Five minutes 12 Twenty minutes 5 Longer 2

Who it is written for

A practitioner 5 Me 3 Someone I care about 1 My husband or wife 1

On your own, or with someone · Both of us together

On my own 31 Involves someone else 14 Both of us together 5

Theme

Feelings and focus 1 Emotions as signals 1 Getting assessed and diagnosed 1 Being seen and judged 1 Shame 1

Approach

CBT 1 Narrative 1 Emotionally focused 1 Trauma informed 1 ADHD skills 1

When · Under stress

Any ordinary day 59 After a row 8 Under stress 5 Coming and going 2 In a change 2

Sometimes the help you need is not insight. It is someone sitting with you while you sort out what actually happened this week and which bit of it mattered.

When anxiety is running at full speed, everything arrives at the same volume and nothing can be ranked. A bad week becomes one undifferentiated bad…

Twenty minutesBeing seen and judgedNarrativeQur’an 15:97

When you are trying to reach a feeling, stay with the actual sentence that caused it rather than paraphrasing it into something milder.

She said you are too difficult. Said again, gently, it keeps the moment alive in the room instead of turning it into a memory being reported.…

Twenty minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 15:97

Instead of stopping the worry, follow it all the way to the end. And then what happens. And then what. At each step, ask whether you could bear that.

Most catastrophes stop being catastrophes somewhere along the chain, and the place where you say no, I could not bear that, is the useful discovery.…

Twenty minutesFeelings and focusCBTQur’an 94:5

Ask for the most frightening moment of their life, then the next one down, then the next, until there is a scale running from one to a hundred. You get the ladder you needed, and they get something they did not expect: fear comes in sizes.

Do it slowly and write it in their words rather than yours. Most people arrive believing anxiety is one solid block that either has hold of them or…

Twenty minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 21:83

Telling someone it was not their fault often bounces straight off, and there is a reason for that. Self blame can be the safer of the two stories, and you are asking them to give up shelter.

So do not lead with the correction. Say instead that it makes complete sense they landed there, that a child needs their parents to be good more than…

Twenty minutesShameTrauma informedQur’an 15:56

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.