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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

154 practices
Coping, mostly remove filterBoth of us together remove filterClear all
Area
Focus, starting, and ADHD 89Anger 33Worry and anxiety 11Low mood and hard feelings 11Your body 10
How long you have
A minute 30Five minutes 62Twenty minutes 50Longer 12
Who it is written for
A practitioner 144Someone I care about 82Me 81My husband or wife 33
Where you are right now · Coping, mostly
Coping, mostly 154Struggling right now 62Getting ready for something 32
On your own, or with someone · Both of us together
On my own 1158Involves someone else 413Both of us together 154
Theme
Getting assessed and diagnosed 30Medication and how it works 18Growing empathy 7What anger actually is 7Emotions as signals 7Systems for daily life 7Touch and bodywork 6When anger turns to harm 6Reading, numbers and learning differences 6Bringing the future closer 5Feelings and focus 5Treatment and medication 5The cost of avoiding 5Being seen and judged 4Equanimity and perspective 4Screens and attention 3Practising under provocation 2What ADHD actually is 2Exercise, food and other supports 2Obsessions and compulsions 2The fear underneath anger 2Get started 2Moving your body 2Shame 2Your sense of time 2When everything feels flat 2The moment before you snap 1What you are actually defending 1Use your strengths 1Making it stick 1Righteous anger and perfectionism 1Cool the body first 1Your nervous system 1Structure and routine 1Grounding and settling 1
Approach
ADHD skills 54Core 32Medical and treatment 25CBT 16Body based 11Emotionally focused 8Mindfulness 4Parts work 2Narrative 1Trauma informed 1
When
Any ordinary day 117After a row 19Under stress 9In a change 4When apart 3Coming and going 2

Coaching for adult ADHD comes down mostly to one thing: a standing appointment with somebody who will ask how it went. That sounds thin until you have tried keeping a plan alive entirely on your own.

A coach is not a therapist and does not need to be. They hold the horizon you keep losing and the fortnight that has quietly gone by, and they make…

Twenty minutesTreatment and medicationCBTQur’an 42:38

Paying someone to help sort the house will not mend the marriage. It will remove one of the things you fight about most weeks, and that counts for more than it sounds.

Nobody should pretend this reaches anything deep. The point is arithmetic. A couple has a certain number of rows in them, and if the living room is…

LongerTreatment and medicationMedical and treatmentQur’an 94:5

A relationship with no friction in it can leave an ADHD partner restless rather than content. A bit of heat is not the same as a bad marriage. What matters is what happens afterwards.

Plenty of couples decide that any argument means something is broken, and then start managing each other into blandness, which nobody enjoys. The…

Five minutesUse your strengthsADHD skillsQur’an 2:148

With children, practise the hard social moment rather than explaining it. Act out asking to join a game, or losing one, a few times at home where nothing is at stake.

Keep it light and short, let them play both parts, and be the one who gets it wrong sometimes so it does not feel like a test. Pick the situation…

Five minutesWhat ADHD actually isADHD skillsQur’an 20:115

ADHD reaches into a marriage in ways couples rarely say out loud: attention drifting during a conversation that mattered, or a partner who has started to feel like an unpaid manager. It is a fair thing to talk about and to get help with.

The hurt usually comes from what each of you concludes rather than from the behaviour itself. One reads distraction as not being loved, the other…

Twenty minutesWhat ADHD actually isADHD skillsQur’an 11:118

When somebody says they were not scared, they just do not like being disrespected, take the dislike seriously. We dislike what threatens us, and that is why we avoid it.

The move keeps everyone's dignity intact. You are not telling a person they were frightened, you are pointing out that disliking something and being…

Five minutesWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 70:20

If somebody insists they were not afraid of the disrespect, agree with them. Good, because if there was nothing to fear then the words were safe, and safe things can be left alone.

Whichever way the answer goes it is useful. Either the fear is now on the table, or the disrespect has just been agreed to be harmless, and the next…

Five minutesWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 7:199

There is a difference between being afraid and being seen as afraid, and it is usually the second one people are defending. Worth asking which of the two is actually the problem.

Once somebody can say the trouble is what others would make of it, the whole reputational job anger has been doing comes into view. Often the belief…

Five minutesWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 12:53

Certainty closes a mind and a moment of not quite following opens it again. Sometimes the most useful thing you can say is the sentence that takes a second to work out.

Ask what it would mean if somebody were not afraid of being afraid, and let the puzzle sit for a beat. In that small gap the ready made…

Five minutesWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 21:37

Your family had its own rules about anger, quite apart from anything cultural. Those are the ones that shaped you, and they can be renegotiated.

Name two of them plainly. Nobody leaves the table. Whoever shouts loudest wins. We do not mention it the next day. Then ask which you still want.…

Twenty minutesWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 2:263

Expect the fear underneath to be denied, and do not push against the denial. This idea has to be worked in gently rather than argued in.

Coming at somebody head on with what they are defending sets off exactly the threat response you were hoping to treat. Small, low pressure versions…

LongerWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 68:48

You will not get the honest version in one go. Ask, let it be refused, carry on with something else, then come back to it later in the same conversation.

A defended story does not collapse, it wears down. Each pass takes a little off it, and the person needs the gaps in between to do the actual…

LongerWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 15:47

Understanding an idea is not the same as being changed by it. The explaining is soil preparation, and the crop comes later.

Somebody can follow the whole argument about respect and self-acceptance, agree warmly with all of it, and lose their temper the same way that…

LongerWhat you are actually defendingCoreQur’an 22:46

Connection settles people, but the right amount of it varies enormously. Some settle with a house full of family and some with one person and no talking at all.

If closeness costs you something, plan around that rather than pushing through. Shorter visits, sitting side by side instead of face to face, a walk…

Twenty minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 2:260

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.