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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

4 practices
Repair after rupture remove filterInvolves someone else remove filterEmotionally focused remove filterClear all
How long you have
A minute 2Twenty minutes 2
Who it is written for
My husband or wife 4Me 4
On your own, or with someone · Involves someone else
Involves someone else 4On my own 3
Theme · Repair after rupture
Emotions as signals 7Affection and touch 7Staying regulated in conflict 7Answering bids 6Knowing your partner 6Repair after rupture 4Rituals of connection 2Rebuilding trust 2Shame 2When you go numb 1Shared spiritual life 1Listening and understanding 1
Approach · Emotionally focused
Gottman 6Emotionally focused 4Core 1
When
After a row 2Under stress 1Any ordinary day 1

Offer your spouse one clear reassurance today: I am here, we are okay.

When they wobble, say the steadying thing plainly rather than assuming they know.

A minuteRepair after ruptureEmotionally focusedQur’an 9:40

After a fight cools today, say the reconnecting thing: we are still okay.

The fight can leave a quiet fear. Naming that you are still solid puts it to rest.

A minuteRepair after ruptureEmotionally focusedQur’an 49:10

Name one old hurt with your spouse that still aches, gently and without re-litigating.

When you were not there that day, it marked me. Naming it is not attacking, it is asking to heal.

Twenty minutesRepair after ruptureEmotionally focusedQur’an 42:40

When your spouse names a wound you caused, listen without defending, even once.

Not I didn't mean to. First: I hear that I hurt you, and I am sorry. Defence can wait.

Twenty minutesRepair after ruptureEmotionally focusedQur’an 4:135

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.