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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

3 practices
Answering bids remove filterInvolves someone else remove filterGottman remove filterClear all
How long you have
A minute 1Twenty minutes 2
Who it is written for
My husband or wife 3Me 3
On your own, or with someone · Involves someone else
On my own 4Involves someone else 3
Theme · Answering bids
Staying regulated in conflict 17Listening and understanding 11Rebuilding trust 10Shared spiritual life 7Repair after rupture 6Rituals of connection 6Knowing your partner 5Answering bids 3Fondness and admiration 2Affection and touch 2Choosing your response 1Gratitude 1
Approach · Gottman
Emotionally focused 6Gottman 3Core 2
When
Under stress 2Any ordinary day 1

When your partner is up against something, take their side: this is our problem, we will face it together.

Even if you see the other side, do not side with the enemy against your partner. Stand with them first.

A minuteAnswering bidsGottmanQur’an 9:71

Once today, ask about a stress from outside the two of you, then just listen. No fixing.

Twenty minutes on their side. Your only job is to understand and be on their team.

Twenty minutesAnswering bidsGottmanQur’an 30:21

Once a day, take turns unloading the day's outside stress while the other just listens and supports, not fixes.

Ten minutes each on stress from beyond the relationship. The listener gives empathy, not solutions.

Twenty minutesAnswering bidsGottmanQur’an 5:2

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.