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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

4 practices
Twenty minutes remove filterOn my own remove filterEmotionally focused remove filterClear all
Area
Low mood and hard feelings 3Your marriage 1
How long you have · Twenty minutes
A minute 28Five minutes 13Twenty minutes 4
Who it is written for
My husband or wife 4Me 4A practitioner 3
Where you are right now
Coping, mostly 3Struggling right now 1
On your own, or with someone · On my own
Involves someone else 4On my own 4Both of us together 4
Theme
Emotions as signals 3Repair after rupture 1
Approach · Emotionally focused
ADHD skills 82Medical and treatment 57Body based 36Core 31CBT 22Mindfulness 10Trauma informed 7DBT skills 5Grief 4Emotionally focused 4Gottman 3Narrative 2Parts work 1
When
Any ordinary day 2Under stress 1After a row 1

When all you can say is that something happened and you went off, take it apart in five pieces: what set it off, how you read it, what your body did, what you made it mean, and what you wanted to do next.

Written out on paper it usually stops being a blur. You often find the trigger was small and the meaning was enormous, or that your body was already…

Twenty minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 91:7

Going deeper into a feeling only helps if it is being put in order at the same time. Depth without order is just flooding.

So as the feeling rises, keep laying it out: this is what happened, this is what my body did, this is what I was afraid it meant. If your chest is…

Twenty minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 3:154

Take one episode from this week and give it five lines: what set it off, how you read it, what happened in your body, what you took it to mean, and what you wanted to do.

Doing this with an actual event, rather than in general, is what makes it useful. Keep the lines short and resist tidying them into something more…

Twenty minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 3:29

Where the harm has truly stopped, begin to set down a grievance you have carried.

Not forgetting, releasing. Once the wound is no longer being made, let it start to close.

Twenty minutesRepair after ruptureEmotionally focusedQur’an 24:22

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.