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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

5 practices
Five minutes remove filterOn my own remove filterGottman remove filterClear all
Area
Your marriage 3Anger 2
How long you have · Five minutes
A minute 33Five minutes 5Twenty minutes 3
Who it is written for
My husband or wife 5Me 5A practitioner 2
Where you are right now
Coping, mostly 4Struggling right now 1
On your own, or with someone · On my own
Involves someone else 19On my own 5
Theme
Choosing your response 2Staying regulated in conflict 2Rebuilding trust 1
Approach · Gottman
ADHD skills 231Medical and treatment 200Core 164Body based 161CBT 91Mindfulness 89Emotionally focused 13Trauma informed 10DBT skills 9Gottman 5Grief 4Narrative 4
When
Under stress 3After a row 2

There is a difference between stepping out and storming out, and most of it sits in whether the other person knows you are coming back.

Two failures sit either side of this one. The first is staying in the room until something is said that cannot be unsaid. The second is going quiet…

Five minutesChoosing your responseGottmanQur’an 43:89

If your break turned into disappearing for the night, look at it as fear rather than as a discipline problem. Anger is often a way out of feeling afraid, and so is running.

Shame teaches badly here. Telling yourself you failed at the skill tends to produce more heat, and heat is the thing you were trying to leave behind.…

Five minutesChoosing your responseGottmanQur’an 7:200

When you feel flooded today, name it and take a real break before you say a word.

Racing heart, tight chest, that is the signal. Step away, breathe, come back when steady.

Five minutesStaying regulated in conflictGottmanQur’an 7:199

On a break, do not rehearse how wronged you are. Let the grievance go and let your body settle.

Thoughts like I do not have to take this keep you flooded. Turn to something calming instead.

Five minutesStaying regulated in conflictGottmanQur’an 13:28

A betrayal is the choice of the one who made it. Unhappiness never forced it, and it is not the hurt partner's fault.

A struggling marriage is one thing; how a person responds to it is their own choice. Do not carry blame that is not yours.

Five minutesRebuilding trustGottmanQur’an 6:164

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.