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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

107 practices
On my own remove filterAfter a row remove filterClear all
Area
Anger 58Your marriage 25Focus, starting, and ADHD 13Low mood and hard feelings 8Your body 3
How long you have
A minute 45Five minutes 54Twenty minutes 7Longer 1
Who it is written for
Me 104A practitioner 81Someone I care about 56My husband or wife 34
Where you are right now
Coping, mostly 61Struggling right now 46
On your own, or with someone · On my own
On my own 107Involves someone else 69Both of us together 34
Theme
Staying regulated in conflict 17What anger actually is 13The fear underneath anger 12Equanimity and perspective 8Cool the body first 6Repair after rupture 6Choosing your response 5Practising under provocation 4The moment before you snap 4Feelings and focus 3Tolerate distress 3Shame and stigma 3Emotions as signals 3Making it stick 2When anger turns to harm 2Bringing the future closer 2Treatment and medication 2Your nervous system 2Anger, alcohol and the body 1What you are actually defending 1What ADHD actually is 1Shame 1Remembering to do it 1Rebuilding trust 1When you go numb 1Grounding and settling 1Getting assessed and diagnosed 1Fondness and admiration 1
Approach
Core 45Emotionally focused 14ADHD skills 11Mindfulness 10CBT 8Body based 8Gottman 5Trauma informed 2DBT skills 2Medical and treatment 2
When · After a row
Any ordinary day 1345Under stress 408After a row 107In a change 67Coming and going 42Something good 3When apart 2

If you catch yourself saying you were teaching someone a lesson, ask what the lesson cost. Were you paid for the teaching, or are you the one still paying?

It works because it uses your own logic instead of arguing with your values. Most people, asked to total it up honestly, arrive somewhere near: I am…

Five minutesWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 42:40

Everyone knows the line about sticks and stones. If words really could not hurt you, you would not still be turning over what he said.

It is a rhyme we all agreed to and none of us believe. Rather than argue with it, set it beside the evidence: the words landed, so something in them…

Five minutesWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 4:148

Some anger fires when your image takes a knock: your child playing up in a shop, your name left off something, a correction in front of other people. What got punctured was the picture of yourself.

The tell is the phrase, said or unsaid, that this reflects badly on me. Managing the triggers will not help much, because they are endless and small.…

Five minutesWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 12:53

Some anger arrives with an argument already inside it: that they disrespected you, that this is not how you are meant to be treated. It burns cooler than the sudden kind and it lasts much longer.

Because it is made of a story, it can be handled at the level of the story. What did that gesture actually mean. What would it mean if they were…

Twenty minutesWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 5:8

Demanding respect quietly puts you below the person you are demanding it from. You are asking for something only they can hand over, which makes you the one in need.

That is an odd position for a stance meant to prove you will not be pushed around. To anyone watching it usually reads as need rather than strength.…

Five minutesWhat you are actually defendingCoreQur’an 28:83

Freezing is not something you decided on. It is what was left once the other options had gone.

A mouse does not try to charm a cat. It runs, and if it is caught it goes limp, and none of that is a considered plan. People ask themselves for…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 91:7

If you start shaking or trembling after a fright, or partway through a difficult conversation, that is usually your body finishing something rather than falling apart.

Animals do it visibly. A creature that has been hunted and got away will shake hard for a while and then walk off as though nothing happened. In…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 94:3

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.